New ‘Kojak’ feels like a ’70s relic – which it is

  • By Victor Balta / Herald Columnist
  • Wednesday, March 23, 2005 9:00pm
  • LifeGo-See-Do

It seems that smooth, round objects are the only things the new “Kojak” and the original TV cop drama have in common.

Actor Ving Rhames sports the familiar smooth, bald head of the title character.

And he, like the original, has an affinity for lollipops – particularly the red, round variety.

But the new version – which premieres with a two-hour special on cable’s USA Network at 9 p.m. Friday – has one smooth, round feature that the original didn’t.

One of these: 0.

As in, “zero.”

As in, the amount of intrigue it brings, suspense it offers or desire anyone should have to watch it.

This is certainly no affront to Rhames, who wrestles at least some semblance of a pulse out of this show.

Over the past decade, since bursting onto the scene as gang leader Marsellus Wallace in “Pulp Fiction,” Rhames has established himself as just the guy you’d want to see playing the tough, brooding villain, or the mean guy on the good guys’ team.

Since then, he’s won a Golden Globe for portraying boxing promoter Don King in the TV movie, “Don King: Only in America.”

The part of a tough cop with a soft side seemed a perfect fit, and Rhames brings a certain sense of elegance and humanity to the part, but lazy writing ultimately makes the show more style than substance.

The awkward filming and slow-moving plot are also to blame for making us wish this remake had been left well enough alone.

The original “Kojak,” starring Telly Savalas on CBS from 1973 to 1978, was praised in its time for its genuine portrayal of police life in south Manhattan.

But with today’s fast-paced forensics investigation shows, and other new twists, such as the telepathic Patricia Arquette on NBC’s “Medium,” USA’s “Kojak” just feels like a bad imitation of something.

Lt. Theo Kojak is as tough and streetwise as ever.

Rhames’ character dons slick suits, wingtips and a fedora, popping the occasional lollipop in his mouth.

He strides onto the scene in the first episode with jazzy theme music playing in the background as two detectives struggle to interrogate a witness who is simply mocking them.

The fun and games take on a different form, though, when Kojak strides into the room and gets the man to confess what he knows by playing a little Russian roulette.

The star’s tactics set the tone for the way he handles business.

It’s an interesting start, but the intensity fades all too quickly and you’ll spend the next hour and 56 minutes wondering whose idea it was to kick this show off with a bloated two-hour special.

The new Kojak is a fan of jazz. His dad was a piano player who was killed during a botched convenience-store robbery when Theo was a youngster.

And he isn’t afraid to show his sensitive side.

In the premiere, he tries to track down a serial killer who is targeting prostitutes. One victim left behind two children who Kojak becomes personally committed to saving, and toys with taking custody of them because their father is in prison.

At times, the emotion of the case and other frustrations mount to the point where the star sheds some tears.

Nothing against crying, but it doesn’t fit with the image and just feels awkward.

Besides, for as groundbreaking as Savalas’ Kojak was, and for as much further as Det. Andy Sipowicz brought the tough New York cop image on “NYPD Blue,” it seems silly to bring back a retread from the past – especially when it hasn’t improved with time.

Columnist Victor Balta: 425-339-3455 or vbalta@heraldnet.com.

Talk to us

More in Life

Dark gray wheels and black exterior accents provide extra visual appeal for the 2024 Subaru Impreza’s RS trim. (Subaru)
2024 Subaru Impreza loses a little, gains a lot

The brand’s compact car is fully redesigned. A couple of things are gone, but many more have arrived.

Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay walks into the Prohibition Grille along Hewitt Avenue in Everett Wednesday Dec. 5, 2012 while reportedly filming an episode of Kitchen Nightmares at the Everett restaurant. (Mark Mulligan / The Herald)
Even more films and TV shows filmed in Snohomish County

Readers point out projects previously missed in this series, from reality television to low-budget indie films.

Daniella Beccaria / for The Herald

15-month-old Kantu attempts to climb a pumpkin at Stocker Farms in Snohomish on Sunday, September 20th, 2015. Stocker Farms offers a U-pick patch, farm animals and a corn maze.
Best pumpkin patch in Snohomish County

You voted, we tallied, here are the results.

The city of Mukilteo is having a naming contest for its new $75,000 RC Mowers R-52, a remote-operated robotic mower. (Submitted photo)
Mukilteo muncher: Name the $75,000 robot mower

The city is having a naming contest for its new sod-slaying, hedge-hogging, forest-clumping, Mr-mow-it-all.

Local musician Alex Johnston, whose newest album "Daylight Fooldream" pairs with short film he made with help from his partner Mikaela Henderson, sits with his morning coffee on Friday, Sept. 15, 2023, at Narrative Coffee in Everett, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Folktronica musician shoots 37-minute visual album on iPhone in Everett

Alex Johnston, 31, describes his music as ”if Coldplay and Bon Iver had a love child.”

Death of parent with child. Piece of paper with parents and children is torn in half.
Helping children cope with the hard realities of divorce

I’s important to set aside one’s feelings and find a way to make this challenging transition as comfortable for children as you can.

In Belgium, each type of beer has its own glass – whether wide, tall, or fluted – to show off its distinct qualities.
Rick Steves’ Europe: Bruges brews lift a weary traveler’s spirits

The Belgian city is a mecca for beer lovers from around the world.

Children’s author Barbara Herkert to lead Story Time at Edmonds Bookshop, Friday September 29th, 9:30-10:00 am!
Author to read her new kids book at Edmonds bookstore

Author Barbara Herkert will read “This Old Madrone Tree” Friday at Edmonds Bookshop.

Can he get the fare difference refunded after he was downgraded?

American Airlines downgrades Thomas Sennett and his family to economy class on their flights from Boston to Phoenix. Why isn’t it refunding the fare difference?

From left, Elora Coble, Carol Richmond, David Hayes, Karli Reinbold, Giovanna Cossalter Walters, Landon Whitbread in a scene from Edmonds Driftwood Players' production of "Murder on the Orient Express." (Dale Sutton / Magic Photography)
Music, theater and more: What’s happening in Snohomish County

Edmonds Driftwood Players opens its 65th season with Agatha Christie’s “Murder on the Orient Express.”

Photo caption: Back-to-school is an ideal time to pick up new habits that help your family reduce waste and learn about resource conservation.
Go green this back-to-school season

It’s an ideal time for the entire family to learn the three Rs — Reduce, Reuse and Recycle.

Some collectibles are found in nature; some imitate them. If it weren’t for the attached figure, this Royal Dux porcelain vase might pass for a real conch shell.
This shell-shaped vase would make a fine souvenir of summer fun

It may not be a real shell, but this art nouveau piece could still evoke fond memories of days at the beach.