It’s season transition time
Published 11:45 am Sunday, October 31, 2010
Let’s ease into the first of November, so as to not aggravate that Snickers hangover.
Some good news: People will soon get their wish for the end of the endless election ads. Yay. But gird yourselves. The reprieve is an illusion. Because the last “I sponsored this ad” that you hear will morph into the first “holiday season” ad that you hear.
(“Is Santa really what he seems? Hasn’t he been in that job long enough? Isn’t his whole agenda rather socialistic? I’m Grinchy McScrooge and I approved this ad. Oh, and yes, I recently stole Thanksgiving. No money in that. So start your holiday shopping in Whoville right now.”)
In other news:
•“Oregon tourist town considers dumping ‘Detroit’”: On Tuesday, voters in the 300-resident village known for boating and skiing will decide whether to change its name. From Detroit to Detroit Lake. That’s the kind of bold thinking that got the place named Detroit in the first place. If you’re going to change the name, go ahead and actually change the name.
An Oregon builder told the Detroit News that “Detroit” carries an unsavory image. Well, obviously it had a different image at one time, or the village wouldn’t have stolen the name. They chose Detroit because Portland, Albany, Toledo and Milwaukie were already taken by other original-thinking city founders in Oregon. Perhaps “Savory Village” will work for the builder.
•“Man says Heinz stole his idea for dippable ketchup packets”: David Wawrzynski of Michigan says he was in talks with the company about his idea in 2008, but then Heinz backed out. The company came out with its combo dippable/squeezable packets in February. So Wawrzynski sued.
Let’s hope the legal system works it all out and Wawrzynski is compensated for his idea, if it is indeed his. But as gripping a legal case that it is, we trust Hollywood learned its lesson that such thrillers are hard to translate to the screen with that movie about the guy who invented windshield wipers. (A movie on that topic could have been set in Boring, Oregon. Which is a pretty good name. Or, for historical confusion, it could have been set in Detroit, Oregon.)
•“Most babies sleep through night at three months”: Except the ones that don’t.
“It’s true: Menstruation does affect women’s emotions”: Gosh, do you really @%^&!)*%&think so? Sorry, sorry. We didn’t mean to sound like that. Waa waa.
Upcoming studies from the intrepid researchers: “Sun continues to set in the West.” “Hair-of-the-dog-that-bit-you excellent cure for Snickers hangover.”
