Playing doctor with Sylvester Stallone

Sylvester Stallone is praising the virtues of human growth hormone, which he used to bulk up for “Rambo.”

Dr. Stallone says “everyone over 40 would be wise to investigate it” — at least those too nearsighted to read the fine print about joint pain, diabetes and freakish ability to hit a baseball.

If Stallone really wants to play doctor, he can check out “Trauma Center: New Blood,” one of several new video games featuring heroes in careers you don’t usually see in games.

As a video game doctor, you can carve right into your patient on the operating table, then send him home the next morning with a prescription in your absolute worst handwriting.

Other titles include “Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law.” Use this game to sue yourself for malpractice after playing “Trauma Center.”

Aspiring surgeons can usually turn to the TLC cable channel, but last night instead of gore, viewers got the Miss America pageant. Miss Washington made the top three, but Michigan’s Kirsten Haglund took the crown.

Haglund sings opera, dances ballet and looks much better in a swimsuit than that other famous Haglund — Ivar.

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One of the illustrated pages of the LifeWise Bible used for class on Monday, April 14, 2025 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
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