‘AvP’ Smackdown

Published 10:39 am Friday, February 29, 2008

Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees won’t have to worry about the next big monster icon showdown that’s trying to make a killing in local theaters. Their place in the cinematic history of dueling horror heavyweights is intact, because “Alien vs. Predator” just ends up laying a big extraterrestrial egg.

Set on Earth in the early part of the 21st century (i.e., now), “Alien vs. Predator” (AvP) sets up the confrontation with a satellite’s discovery of a “heat bloom” some 2,000 feet below the surface of Antarctica. Fortunately, the satellite belongs to the familiar face of billionaire industrialist Charles Bishop Weyland (Lance Henriksen), who gathers a team of scientists to head south and investigate the pyramid shaped underground structure. The expert team is led by an adventurous environmental scientist, Lex (Sanaa Lathan), who upon their arrival quickly demonstrate they are fatally unprepared for what they find.

The PG-13 rating on this long awaited meeting of the monster minds should raise a major red flag to fans. What should have been the intergalactic smackdown of the millennium is instead a shadow of its predecessors — which isn’t saying much when you compare it to “Alien Resurrection” and “Predator 2.” At least those two films had the teeth of an R rating, making valiant attempts to keep up the seat clutching terror and gore of their progenitors.

But not here. Director Paul W.S. Anderson (“Resident Evil” film series) had to go back to the editing room to reign in slimy alien violence for a coveted PG-13 rating (mind you, “Freddy vs. Jason,” which came out last summer with an “R” rating, had no trouble finding a broad demographic). But 20th Century Fox’s bottom line is, well, its bottom line: PG-13 means access to the pocketbooks of a much broader audience. Since kids have already consumed the concept via comic books and video games, it wouldn’t be fiscally responsible to deny them another opportunity to buy something.

I like a good schlockfest (when it’s good) and “AvP” certainly has its moments. The special effects are crisply rendered and nearly flawless — if only the film had as much action as it has stale dialogue, the conspicuous editing could have been forgiven. There’s an initial effort made to expand the back story and create a credible mythology. Lathan’s character even gives Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley a run for the money as far as kicking alien butt. That’s all fine and good, but it’s not enough of a distraction from the real horror: a potentially good film rendered impotent by an outmoded rating system.

“AvP” is an excellent example of why the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) rating system is long past due for an overhaul. It’s been 36 years since the system was instituted, and the movie industry has changed dramatically — as have the tastes of movie-going audiences. But you’d think from recent efforts to restrict entertainment content that we’d returned to the days of the moral censorship of the film industry’s Hays Code, originally instituted in 1934.

When the first “Alien” movie came out in 1979, I was 12 years old, but do you think the R rating stopped me from seeing the film? No. Of course it helped that I shared a love of horror/science fiction films with my dad, who took me to see it in a drive-in double bill with another R-rated gore-fest, “The Fury.” Most of my friends saw “Alien,” too, in all its glorious, gory glory. Now as adults, we’re hardly irreparably scarred by the experience (unless you count that slight twinge of fear you get once in awhile when the Pepcid AC doesn’t work fast enough). Yet today’s tender, impressionable youth, who are more culturally astute than most adults I know, must now be shielded from such damaging material.

My point is that either movies are conceived for children to see, or they are not. If a filmmaker intentionally creates a film with adult subject matter, why would it be necessary to dilute its content to make it “acceptable” for children, when children are not even identified as its audience? As said before, the question could be answered in dollar signs. But that’s only the tip of the iceberg. The entertainment industry has seized upon an opportunity not of their own making: they are simply filling the void left by parents, who for whatever reasons have abdicated an essential societal responsibility: raising not just children, but future adults. Which may be why we have so many awful movies these days.

AvP’s tag line is “Whoever wins, we all lose.” I’d amend that to say that in today’s cultural climate, whomever wins the battle between film studio conglomerates and the Motion Picture Association of America, it’s the audience that ultimately loses.