Scotch, please, neat

Published 5:37 pm Friday, October 3, 2014

Don’t drink the water: Residents of Mercer Island, one of the wealthiest communities in the state, are again being advised to boil their water because of an E. coli outbreak in its water system.

In order to reserve enough bottled Evian water for drinking and cooking, Mercer Islanders are having to go to extremes, washing their Lexus vehicles in Napa Valley chardonnay and bathing their bichon frise dogs in goat’s milk, imported, of course.

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Lawyers by the dozen: A federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit brought by six mid-West and Southern states that sought to overturn a California law that bars the sale of eggs that are laid by hens in cramped living conditions.

The judge found that the states did not “have standing” to lay their suit because the chickens could not stand not having suitable room to lay.

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Just keep your distance from Pennsatucky: A married couple from Bravo’s “Real Housewives of New Jersey” were sent to prison for conspiracy and bankruptcy fraud. Teresa Giudice was sentenced to 15 months; her husband, Giuseppe, to 41 months.

Bravo has not commented on the sentencing or the Giudices’ further participation on “Real Housewives,” but Netflix is said to be offering both guest roles on “Orange is the New Black.”

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