We’re out of Tang

Published 4:52 pm Monday, January 12, 2015

Tell me you remembered the toilet tissue: SpaceX’s Dragon capsule delivered 5,000 pounds of long-delayed supplies to the crew aboard the International Space Station. Among other items in short supply, the space station was completely out of mustard.

And you don’t want to be out of mustard when the neighbors from Gliese 876d pull up in their chauffeured interstellar-limo, roll down the window and ask, “Do you have any Grey Poupon.”

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Sorry, Colbert Nation: Fans of Stephen Colbert are going to have to wait until September for the former “Colbert Report” host to take over for David Letterman on CBS’s “Late Show.”

Colbert would have started sooner, but Letterman says he needs more time to have the carpets cleaned after 21 years of Stupid Pet Tricks.

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Channel-surfing the vast cultural wasteland: Among the TV shows premiering tonight is WGN America’s reality series “Wrestling with Death,” which follows an Arkansas family who are morticians by day and pro wrestlers by night.

Those were just the first two professions that the shows’ producers picked out of a hat. Watch for future series about duck decoy makers by day and bikini baristas by night, members of Congress by day and carnies by night; and fired TV producers by day and fast-food workers by night.

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