‘Witch Mountain’: An illogical but enjoyable Disney rehash

Published 5:54 pm Thursday, March 12, 2009

Remaking Disney classics is one thing, but remaking Disney flicks from the company’s blah period in the 1970s is quite another.

Still, here’s “Race to Witch Mountain,” a re-do of the 1975 “Escape to Witch Mountain,” a live-action chase picture about alien kids.

The new one is still about alien kids, although the story has been altered from there.

Now we have a Las Vegas cab driver (Dwayne Johnson) picking up two Aryan-looking children (AnnaSophia Robb and Alexander Ludwig) and driving them to a mystery spot in the desert.

It doesn’t take long for the kids to demonstrate their supernatural powers, which include telepathy and moving objects around with their minds.

These three (because you just know the cabbie is going to get involved) must keep ahead of the lethal alien, who doesn’t look at all like the cute blond tykes in the taxi, but more like Voldemort from “Harry Potter,” after a microwave accident.

Which makes you wonder: If you’re an alien with special powers, and you want to catch the renegade kids, wouldn’t you shape-shift yourself into something more palatable?

But “Witch Mountain” shouldn’t be subjected to such quibbling.

If you’re going to start asking questions, you’re going to wonder why the alien children don’t just use their special powers to transport themselves around or to stop the government agents tracking their every move.

Those agents (led by Ciaran Hinds) are part of a force devoted to finding extra-terrestrial visitors. You’ve heard of G-Men? Call these guys ET-Men.

In fact, the movie’s cleverest touch is its credits sequence, which suggests that the U.S. government has acknowledged all along that there are aliens — a sequence complete with clips of Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton admitting as much (via some artfully edited speeches).

At one point the ET-Men invoke the Patriot Act as an excuse for seizing the aliens and throwing them into secret custody — which seems like maybe a bit too much freight for a Disney children’s flick. (Although it should be noted that this otherwise breezy chase film has quite a high body count.)

Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock, glides through with his usual light touch. The former wrestling star has been better at movie comedy than action, probably because he comes across as a big kid himself. Disney might just be his niche.

“Race to Witch Mountain”

Remake of a Disney chase movie from the ’70s, with two alien kids (and their helpful cab driver, played by Dwayne Johnson) escaping government agents and a lethal extra-terrestrial. Breezy and nonsensical, with a fairly high body count.

Rated: PG for violence.

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