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A choir of billions

Published 9:00 pm Saturday, May 19, 2007

The Midwest is getting ready for a horde of cicadas, which are expected to emerge soon. (http://www.heraldnet.com/stories/07/05/21/100wir_a2cicada001.cfm?refresh=yes)

In preparation for an event of biblical proportions, here are a few facts about cicadas:

  • Cicadas are sometimes attracted by the sound of a weedwhacker or lawnmower.

  • These cicadas spent 17 years underground.

  • Cicadas lay 400 to 600 eggs.

  • American Indians consider cicadas a delicacy. But people who have a shellfish allergy shouldn’t risk eating them. Neither should people with common sense, if you ask us.

    But it’s the incredible range of their voice — a half mile — that’s most impressive. If only we had that skill. Some things you could do with such a powerful voice:

  • Call the kids home.

  • Berate spouses, kids or pets for their most recent rule-breaking.

  • Call any event, including a Harley Davidson rally, to order.

  • Let that jerk who cut you off on the highway know exactly how you feel.

  • Become a pro hog caller.

    And, probably the best option for a fog-horn quality voice:

  • Go into politics.

    If you’d like to hear what the cicadas sound like, that’s what the Internet is for. http://www.nwf.org/kidzone/kzPage.cfm?siteId=3&departmentId=186&articleId=750

    Britain will soon begin issuing Harry Potter postage. (http://www.heraldnet.com/stories/07/05/21/100wir_a2stamps001.cfm?refresh=yes) No word on whether the stamps will be valid for owl post.

    — Jessi Loerch, Herald staff

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