To George Bush and others who want to amend the U.S. Constitution to deny equal marriage rights to gay and lesbian Americans, I pose this question: Would you want your daughter to marry a gay man?

If your answer is “No,” then you should be working for full equal rights for gays and lesbians.

I grew up in a conservative Christian home, and being gay was never even an option. It was always assumed that one day I would marry a nice Christian woman, and in fact I nearly did. Fortunately for both of us, the woman declined, saving us both a lot of unnecessary pain, frustration and heartache.

When I found myself over 40, single, depressed and very much alone, I finally decided to explore other options. Within the first year of attending gay-friendly churches and small Christian groups, I met at least 20 men who had been married to women, who were now divorced because they were gay.

As long as gay people face contempt and discrimination and are denied equal rights in our society, a good number of us will try to fit into the straight role – and what better way to fit in than to marry a straight person? It’s time for the conservatives to wake up and realize that their “one size fits all” model of marriage simply does not work for everyone. Let’s have straight people marry straight people, and gay people marry gay people. We would all be a lot better off for it.

Everett