"The Simpsons," with a magic touch

Fans of “The Simpsons” toasted the TV family with pints of Duff on Saturday in Springfield, Vt., which threw a bash for the premiere of the Simpsons movie.

Fans also vied for tickets to one of four showings of the movie, which is rumored to have a surprise ending in which Harry Potter saves Homer from a possessed doughnut.

Speaking of people who need Harry’s help, the director of a regional clean air agency says that if he could wave a magic wand and move a reeking fish meal plant to another part of Hoquiam, away from angry neighbors, he would.

The stench earned the plant an air quality violation notice on Friday and could pose problems for visiting youth baseball players if their state tournament games are called off on account of gagging.

A surveillance company attracted controversy last year when two of its employees had microchips implanted in their arms as a way of controlling access to sensitive vaults.

The move immediately drew fire from privacy advocates, including civil libertarians, conservatives and people who fear their employers will someday know if they spend the day on the golf course after calling in sick.

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