By Jon Bauer / Herald Opinion Editor
All this talk of the Qatari royal family offering a low-mileage used Boeing 747-8 jet to President Trump reminded us of one of our retirement day-dreams; opening up a guitar sales and repair shop in the Middle Eastern country: Qatar’s Guitars.
In other flights of fancy this week:
And it comes with the ‘I Dream of Jeannie’ harem furnishings: President Trump called Democrats and the media “losers,” following criticism of his planned acceptance of a Boeing 747-8, worth about $400 million, from the Qatari royal family, which he could use as Air Force One during his presidency, then receive it as a donation to his presidential library. “They insist we pay, TOP DOLLAR, for the plane,” Trump wrote on social media. “Anybody can do that! The Dems are World Class Losers!!!”
Well, yes, anybody can shell out $400 million for a 747, but it takes a real deal-maker with most of a presidency ahead of him to leave himself and his country open to an Arab petrostate “sheik down.”
That’s some ‘gimme,’ Mr. President: Trump later referenced golfer Sam Snead, whose motto was, the president said, “When they give you a putt, you say, ‘Thank you very much.’ You pick up your ball, and you walk to the next hole. A lot of people are stupid. They say, ‘No, no, I insist on putting it.’ Then they putt it, they miss it, and their partner gets angry at them.”
OK, in this analogy we’re not sure what a “missed putt” represents or who the “angry partner” is, but does this mean that Sam Snead is getting a 747, too?
Keeping up with the Recep Tayyip Erdogans: If you’re wondering why Qatar’s rulers would be looking to get rid of a perfectly good luxury 747, Forbes reports that they’ve tried to sell some of their larger aircraft because of mounting maintenance and storage costs and haven’t found any buyers. They’ve already given away one 747 to Turkey’s President Recep Tayyip Erdogan. The Qataris, said one aviation consultant, are shifting to “leaner, more versatile aircraft, which offer better economics and more discreet presence for official travel.”
Well, of course; 747s are so 1990s. Hey, Boeing, what have you got in a little red number, something sportier? A convertible, maybe?
Sadly, the new Air Force One won’t be ready for a flyby: A price tag between $25 million and $45 million has been set for a massive military parade in Washington, D.C., next month, featuring dozens of warplanes, hundreds of U.S. Army vehicles and some 6,600 soldiers, who will be billeted in government office buildings, now empty following layoffs of federal workers. The June 14 parade will commemorate the Army’s 250th anniversary and President Trump’s 79th birthday. The parade, an organizer said, would “tell the story of the history of the Army, beginning with the Revolutionary War.”
We hope that history includes Trump’s inspirational July 4, 2019 address, referencing the Continental Army during the Revolutionary War: “Our Army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do.” Even at $45 million, that would be worth the price.
Afrikaners out of Dutch: Dozens of white Afrikaners from South Africa were received by the United States as refugees, even as the Trump administration has refused refugee status for tens of thousands of others, including Afghans who aided U.S. troops during the war in Afghanistan and had already been vetted and cleared to enter the country. Stephen Miller, the White House deputy chief of staff who has overseen the administration’s immigration policy, said a path to citizenship was being offered the Afrikaners because of “race-based persecution” in South Africa, although President Trump’s claim of “genocide” has been debunked.
We’re going to assume that Miller, at the urging of President Trump, felt sorry about Special Government Employee™ Elon Musk’s pending departure from the Trump administration and was looking for find some new friends for the fellow South African immigrant.
They said ‘Drain the Swamp’; don’t swim in it! Robert F. Kennedy Jr., secretary of Health and Human Services, posted photos of himself and two of his grandchildren taking a dip in a creek at a Northwest Washington, D.C. park, last week, but the creek has long been closed to swimming — even for dogs — by the city because of widespread fecal contamination and high levels of bacteria, including E. coli. The stream receives about 40 million gallons of untreated sewage and storm water overflow each year.
Not to worry. Kennedy was simply taking his grandkids’ immune systems out for some exercise. Along with the swim in sewage-contaminated waters, he took the kids to a chickenpox party, and then out for some raw-milk ice cream cones before picking up some roadkill for a family barbecue that evening.
‘Up next: E. coli, the hot new burger condiment’: Fox News host Jesse Watters defended Kennedy’s swim, telling “The View”: “That [creek] looks clean. It doesn’t look like it’s filled with sewage.”
“The View” is brought to you by Watters’ Active Cultures Spring Water, in handy 12-ounce bottles and Petri dishes. “Watters’ Water: It Doesn’t Look Like It’s Filled with Sewage.”
Email Jon Bauer at jon.bauer@heraldnet.com. Follow him on BlueSky @jontbauer.bsky.social.
Talk to us
> Give us your news tips.
> Send us a letter to the editor.
> More Herald contact information.
