The patron saints of today’s news

San Sebastian, Spain, was filled with the sound of drums Sunday to celebrate the city’s saint, St. Sebastian. The festival includes 24 hours of nonstop drumming. Next, the city’s residents will be calling upon St. Gereon, the patron saint of headache and migraine sufferers.

A few other saints who would be helpful for today’s news:

St. Roch, patron saint of dogs: A mayor in Texas faces felony charges on allegations that she faked the death of her neighbors’ Shih Tzu so she could keep the dog for herself. And as she’s at risk of losing her office, she might be calling on St. Thomas More, the patron saint of politicians.

St. Matthew the Apostle, patron saint of money managers: Mike Benbow observes that local taxpayers seem to demonstrate strong fiscal responsibility — they say they’ll use a likely federal tax rebate for sensible purposes.

We’ll see how much St. Matthew actually plays a role if those $800 checks do show up. The Buzz suspects sending all that money to practical uses will require another saint — St. Jude, the patron saint of desperate causes.

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