6:47 p.m.: As I filed into the gymnasium bleachers for the Fall Sports Parents’ Night, I was invited by a uniformed cheerleader to have a donut and cup of punch, one of each in a school color.
The buzz of anticipation and parental pride could be overheard in the exchange of summer-camp experiences. Being the only visitor in the grandstands, listening was my positive contribution. Parents of players like listeners.
7:02 p.m.: After the third “may I have your attention,” the voices of excitement faded away and a principal introduced the superintendent, who introduced two school board members. The guy behind me whispered out loud to his wife “It’s good for kids to know the administration supports athletics. That sure wasn’t the case at XXX High School.”
7:18 p.m.: The principal thanked the parents for attending, expressed appreciation for support of the school programs, and mentioned how proud the school is of the accomplishments of coaches and players of the past. A couple of people clapped. Both were on one of the teams she mentioned.
Then she reminded everybody – parents, coaches, student-athletes – of the benefits education sports can provide if we all are on the same team. “Let it be a learning experience for the students. Let’s support their efforts and dedication and loyalty and youthful luxuriance,” she said.
Applause. A younger brother asked his mom, “Is Danny luxuriant?” Mom: “Yes he is.” Brother: “He ain’t that. He’s tough!”
7:26 p.m.: The athletic director gave a few reminders about insurance, eligibility, conduct expectations, the importance of representing the school, community and family in positive ways, and his total confidence and support for the coaching staff. My donut and punch had been consumed.
7:40 p.m.: The head coach of each fall sport was introduced. The head coach introduced each assistant. Everybody already knew the coaches, except the new one.
7:45 p.m.: The athletic director returned to the microphone. He announced the first home game for each sport and gave the room number where parents could join the coaches of their athlete’s sport for discussion and questions about the season. The location of the coffee pot was pointed out.
7:49 p.m.: The cheerleaders appeared with trays full of donuts and punch. I took the other punch. It was the same taste. Different food coloring.
8:04 p.m.: The head soccer coach began by explaining that soccer players have to prove themselves every day. He said, “The score doesn’t matter.” “Oh sure,” said a dad, “what does?”
I took another bite of my donut just to make sure I couldn’t talk. I learned that from a “Got Milk?” commercial. The coach explained that working together to win as a team is the goal.
Each member of the team had been asked, “How can we do that?” The players suggested:
One mom agreed and another nodded when she said, “We can do that potluck.”
And the coach said, “Thank you. Just remember each one of us can do all of them.”
Then the assistant coach started on his subject, “Be Kind to the People in Stripes.” Respect and courtesy are objectives kids on this team will learn. And maybe the parent who snickered when the coach announced the topic will, too.
8:33 p.m.: The head football coach was differentiating between mental and physical toughness when I sat down. He was explaining injuries. Mental toughness is not playing while injured. Physical toughness is recovering from and preventing injuries. Injuries are accidents and we don’t drive cars without wheels or on empty tanks. Toughness is recovering to be at your best.
9:02 p.m.: While I sat among the volleyball parents, I encouraged a mom to discuss her concerns with the coach. She was reluctant to do so, but on the closing invitation by the coach to “answer any questions”, this one-on-one conversation was held:
Mom: “My daughter’s life is becoming totally volleyball. A bad volleyball day becomes a bad day for all the family. Nothing else matters.”
Coach: “She is doing very well. She is a leader on our team.”
Mom: “But she is isolating herself when things go bad. How can I get my daughter back?”
Coach: “Maybe the three of us should meet. Give me a call tomorrow. Let’s meet after practice tomorrow.”
Next day, 8:15 a.m.: I’m still thinking about the volleyball mom and the sports parents’ night. Focusing on positives takes practice, reinforcement, time, trust and poise. Mental toughness?
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