Schwab: Tariffs meant to hand us tiny screws; we get a big one
Published 1:30 am Friday, April 11, 2025
By Sid Schwab / Herald Columnist
Editor’s note: The following was written before President Trump blinked, pausing most global tariffs for 90 days.
For those paying attention, it’s old news: Trump’s devastating tariffs, like everything else he’s ever said or done, are based on lies. That they were allowed reflects the cowering fecklessness of congressional Republicans, who, as in all things Trump, kneel before him (or is it behind?) Our Constitution gives tariffs to Congress, except, per a fairly recent law, in cases of national economic emergency. Which Trump declared. When the U.S. was outpacing all other countries in a period of steady economic growth beginning when Joe Biden ran him out of office. The biggest lie, of course, is that tariffed countries pay.
His calculations for the amount of tariff applied have been greeted with laughter (Meaww: tinyurl.com/2laugh4u). Touting a formula leaving heads scratched and jaws dropped, later festooning it with symbols that changed nothing, he equated trade deficits to tariffs. But, whereas some countries have tariffs on American imports (Switzerland’s is about 2 percent, e.g.), that’s not the whole story. Trade deficits exist because other countries make products Americans want at prices they like, while America makes fewer, reciprocally. Deficit is a misnomer. It’s commerce. Nor is it, as Trump says, a rip-off. They give us goods, we give them dollars.
Should we not avail ourselves of better TVs? Trump’s commerce secretary foresees tariffs allowing Americans to be the ones screwing tiny screws into iPhones (Crooks & Liars: tinyurl.com/2screw4you). What other tiny delights await? (YouTube: tinyurl.com/moretinies)
There was no emergency. Trump has been fixated on deficits and tariffs since he was bankrupting casinos and scamming suckers. It’s his bumper-sticker understanding of economics and his desire to abuse power for its own sake. “Look what I did,” he must be saying, surveying the detritus of the world’s economies. “Trump. I did that!”
One thing he got right: White House toadies and congressional weaklings immediately fell in line, even though most had previously decried tariffs, rightly, as dangerous and inflationary, causing expensive trade wars. Which, Trump hallucinated, are “easy to win.” Now, it’s “We need to suffer to make things right.” Well, not so much “we” as “you.” Millionaires and billionaires all, are they suffering? Perhaps we’ll learn, someday, how many sold their stocks before “Liberation Day” (CNBC: tinyurl.com/4insiders).
Trump’s economic slaughter of the western world is exactly the quid to their quo that Russia expected from him, making well-spent their investments in his two elections. On Russian TV, they’re giddy (YouTube: tinyurl.com/2highfive).
Back in the USSA, senseless, vindictive cutting continues. The National Weather Service will end its translations of weather warnings. Because who cares if “those” people are harmed? Not MAGAs. Trump (because, theoretically, Musk works for him, as opposed to reality) even fired the doctor at National Institutes of Health who provided the unreleased covid-19 treatment that saved his life when he was deathly ill (YouTube: tinyurl.com/nothanks4u). Gone, too, are cancer researchers, vaccine experts, and other medical leaders.
Trump’s impeachment backstop, J.D. Vance is lying Trumpically about their next target, Social Security (Washington Post, no paywall: wapo.st/424Mkdm). He’s a liar among equals (Washington Post: tinyurl.com/no2revenue).
Announcing the end of American greatness, The Bulwark’s Jonathan V. Last ended with this: “We have a deeply stupid government. … But also, we have the government we deserve. The American age is over. And it ended because the American people were no longer worthy of it” (Bulwark: tinyurl.com/bye2usa).
Is he wrong? Maybe. Though far too few, half a million Americans gathered in cities across America to protest his trumpling of the Constitution, the cruelty, the flagitious destruction amok in Kingdom Trump. When big enough, protests still matter in what’s left of our democracy. After it was revealed that Trump’s vindictive, bicep-flexing DEI purge included whitewashing Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad from a National Parks Service website, the outrage led to reinstatement. But much of our important and teachable history remains gone. The not-white parts.
Outrage? How about the Department of Justice no longer investigating cryptocurrency fraud, now that Trump et ux have their own brand. Coincidence or contemptible corruption? Same with cuts to the IRS and the DOJ’s tax division. Live free and donate, prosperous tax-cheats.
Trump has expressed his shoot-‘em dislike of protestors, but, like all dictators, he loves military parades in his honor. Reportedly, he’s planning one for his birthday (AP: tinyurl.com/hail2kingT).
A friend and I exchange topical limericks. Here’s mine on that subject:
“It’ll stretch out for over a mile,
Some in bunches and some single file.
The question they’ll ask
While marching on past
Is ‘When’s the required Sieg Heil?’”
Email Sid Schwab at columnsid@gmail.com.
