The Buzz: Where the only thing worthy of pardon are the turkeys
Published 1:30 am Saturday, November 29, 2025
By Jon Bauer / Herald Opinion Editor
Hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving gatherings this week. We were pleased with ours, although we’re still waiting for genetic engineering to deliver on a four-legged turkey so there’s more dark meat.
In other less grateful events this week:
Behave or you’ll get no pretzels: Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy kicked off the holiday travel season with a new civility campaign for passengers, called “The Golden Age of Travel Starts with You.” With a 1960s-style public service announcement, set to Frank Sinatra’s “Come Fly With Me,” Duffy encouraged travelers to dress better, say “please” and “thank you,” mind their children’s behavior and help older passengers place their luggage in overhead bins. Also bringing back the Golden Age of Travel, Duffy — and this is true because it’s not italicized — withdrew a rule proposed during the Biden administration that would have required airlines to compsensate passengers $200 to $300 for domestic flights delayed more than three hours for issues within an airline’s control.
In the interests of showing civility toward your fellow passengers and airline employees, the next time your flight is delayed, please direct any comments to: The Honorable Sean Duffy; U.S. Department of Transportation, 1200 New Jersey Ave., SE; Washington, D.C.; 20590. And, again, in the interests of civilty, don’t advise Duffy “to take a flying … .” Leap, let’s say.
Hegseth must be working on his merit badge for Petulance: Secretary of War Pete Hegseth is planning for the military to cut all ties with Scouting America, formerly the Boy Scouts of America, accusing the youth organization of favoring DEI, allowing girls to join and attacking “boy-friendly spaces,” according to drafts of a memo to Congress. The move would bar Scouting events at military bases and end rank preferences for Eagle Scouts who enlist in the military.
The memo says Hegseth will reconsider if the Scout Law is rewritten to: “A Scout is Shifty, Treacherous, Useless, Hostile, Obsequious, Rude, Cruel, Disobedient, Glum, Self-Serving, Greasy and Toxic,” and the Scout Motto is changed to “No Girls Allowed!”
Nope, nothing sinister in Hegseth learning to tie a hangman’s knot: After six Democratic members of Congress, all who served in the U.S. military or in intelligence posts, released a video that reminded members of the armed services that their training requires them to disregard illegal orders, the Pentagon and FBI are reportedly seeking to interview the six after President Trump called them “traitors,” accused them of sedition and threatened them with hanging. Sen. Mark Kelly, D-Ariz., could be recalled to active duty for possible court martial. “Their foolish screed sows doubt and confusion, which only puts our warriors in danger,” Hegseth wrote in a post on X.
I dunno, Pete; at least those members of the military who went through Scouting and still follow the Scout Law probably aren’t confused by the difference between a legal and illegal order.
Bad news: You’re fired; Good news: Your severance package includes a case of soup: A senior executive for Campbell’s has been placed on leave after a lawsuit by a former employee alleged that during a meeting he disparaged the company’s products and said its products were for “poor people,” criticized Indian employees as “idiots” and said the company used “bioengineered meat” in its chicken soup. Campbell’s said the claims about “bioengineered meat” were false.
Making matters even more awkward for the suspended executive, he was assigned to bring the green bean casserole to the family Thanksgiving meal.
Mar-a-Largo North: President Trump’s plans for a 90,000-square-foot addition to the White House, replacing the demolished East Wing with a grand ballroom, have hit a snag. The project’s architect says the addition would dwarf the 55,000-square-foot main White House mansion, a violation of a general architectural rule that frowns on additions that overshadow the main building, a concern for historic preservationists, as well.
“We can fix that,” Trump responded to his architect. “Tear down the White House and replace it with a 200,000-square-foot mansion, the greatest like no one has ever seen. Of course, that throws off the balance with the West Wing, so tear that down and replace it, too.”
No pardon for you, stuffing. You’re still on the menu: Taking the opportunity for digs at President Biden for his use of an autopen and at Illinois Gov. J.B. Prtizker, whom he called a “big, fat slob,” President Trump pardoned two turkeys prior to Thanksgiving, Gobble and Waddle, although not before threatening to send them to the “terrorist confinement center in El Salvador.”
A more glorious fate awaits the birds. Both birds, in order to secure the pardons, made significant donations to Trump’s fundraising for the White House ballroom project. For their generous donations, Gobble and Waddle are invited to the inaugural celebration dinner for the ballroom and will be given a plate of honor. Plate of honor? Did we say “plate”? We meant place. Place of honor.
Email Jon Bauer jon.bauer@heraldnet.com.
