The Martian

Published 2:14 pm Friday, June 10, 2016

Bring plenty of potatoes: Entrepreneur Elon Musk, of SpaceX and Tesla fame, hopes to send an unmanned spacecraft to Mars in 2018, with the ultimate goal of establishing a human colony on the red planet.

Fun fact: Because voyages to Mars take so long, they are measured not in months or even years, but in Tesla 3 delivery times.

The next Chapter 11: Gawker is filing for bankruptcy protection and will sell itself after former pro wrestler Hulk Hogan successfully sued the digital media company for posting a sex tape featuring the Hulkster and a pal’s wife.

In other words, as Gawker itself might put it:

A sleazy media company with way more debt than assets is ordered to pay $140 million to a D-list celebrity! You will believe what happened next!

Squeeze play: Repair work on I-5 that has created the dreaded “Snohomish County Squeeze” is nearly complete, the Washington state Department of Transportation says. Crews are scheduled to install a final set of bridge expansion joints this weekend.

This means we can once again measure car trips between Everett and Marysville in normal time units instead of Tesla 3 delivery times.

.— Mark Carlson, Herald staff