‘Bewitched’ is just bewildering

Published 9:00 pm Thursday, June 23, 2005

If anyone actually wanted to see a big-screen version of the 1960s sitcom “Bewitched” – and I have my doubts about that – their needs will hardly be met with this peculiar new movie. “Bewitched” junks the TV series premise in favor of a drop-dead hip, “Inside Hollywood” variation on the idea.

The TV show, created by Sol Saks, followed a suburban wife who happened to be a witch. She tried to go straight for the sake of her Corporation Man husband, but kept lapsing back to her old orientation.

The show was never, ever funny. And it really messed with viewers’ minds when the actor playing hubby Darrin was replaced halfway through the series.

Director and co-writer Nora Ephron, of “Sleepless in Seattle” fame, has gone at her movie in a roundabout way. The young witch is now Isabel (Nicole Kidman), who turns her back on her witchy ways. She is discovered by the producers of a TV remake of “Bewitched” because of her resemblance to Elizabeth Montgomery – and her ability to re-create Montgomery’s nose twitch.

The real star of the show will be Jack Wyatt (Will Ferrell), a Hollywood blowhard whose previous film, “Last Year in Katmandu,” tanked at the box office. Even though he’s playing Darrin, he makes sure he’ll be the focus of the new show, with his unknown co-star relegated to supporting duty.

Of course it doesn’t work out that way. In any case, “Bewitched” becomes an almost entirely inside-joke comedy about Hollywood absurdity – the sycophants and second-guessers who are responsible for the entertainment industry.

In that realm, it scores a few laughs, largely because of the actors. “Daily Show” regulars Stephen Colbert and Steve Carrell pitch in (the latter plays Uncle Arthur, in an approximation of the original show’s Paul Lynde), and Jason Schwartzman nails the coddling agent role. Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth is cute as Isabel’s pal.

But those are supporting actors. At the top, Will Ferrell lets loose some of his patented improvisations; he’s always good at playing fools. The problem is, after establishing his character as a buffoon, the movie needs to steer into romantic-comedy territory. Then he’s a harder sell.

Shirley MacLaine plays a grand dame actress cast as Endora in the show. Michael Caine is Isabel’s warlock father. Both Oscar-winning performers look puzzled at idling away on the sidelines of a big summer movie with nothing to do.

Evidently this film exists because Nicole Kidman looks like Elizabeth Montgomery and grew up liking “Bewitched.” The oddest thing about the film is that Kidman and Ephron have conceived her character as a dingbat (witches apparently don’t learn about the real world). Kidman plays it as though she’s channeling Marilyn Monroe, which might have worked in 1959 but seems a little backward in 2005.

You do get to hear Steve Lawrence sing the TV show theme. Who knew it had lyrics? That’s one of the few surprises in this blunder.

Will Ferrell and Nichole Kidman star in “Bewitched.”