By Carol MacPherson

The first day, I thought I must have misheard. But no, the second day confirmed: I was hearing Christmas music as I clicked through stations on my car radio. Good grief. I guess that’s life according to the Great American Consumer Calendar. Anyway, don’t forgot to have a holly, jolly Halloween tomorrow! Let’s scare up some headlines.

“The rich get ready for higher taxes under a President Clinton”: Hmm. Would that be by hiding ever more assets in offshore accounts?

“Individualized ads on TV could be one result of AT&T-Time Warner merger”: Will they be like all those online ads that barrage you after you buy something, trying to sell you the very thing you just purchased?

“Report: Women won’t earn as much as men for 170 years”: Finally something that makes the projected arrival of light rail in Snohomish County not sound that far away.

“Americans sick of soaring drug prices: HealthDay/Harris Poll”: Indeed! And something on which all Americans can agree. (Yay!) (Except Big Pharma.) Because not a single reason exists why Americans should pay much, much more for the same medicines than people do in Canada or Europe. Or anywhere else, for that matter.

“Why Chris Hansen’s arena proposal might not sway city council”: Because he remains obsessed with vacating a stretch of Occidental Avenue South, to which Seattle already said no?

“World wildlife ‘falls by 58% in 40 years’”: Wouldn’t it be cool if the rich people currently intent on “colonizing Mars” would put the same amount of energy into trying to preserve (all) life here on Earth?

“What’s on your ballot? Facebook will show you”: Or, you know, you could look at your ballot, and/or voters guide. But why do that when you can take several extra steps, and see it on Facebook. Technology is not always the time-saver we pretend it is, and despite what the article says, Facebook is not “making it easier for users to cast their vote.” It’s nice and easy already, whether you vote by mail, or in a booth.

“You an now use Paypal to order pizza on Facebook”: Wow. The daily technological advancements! But again, like voting, how hard is it, really, to order, and pay for, a pizza?

“This is about allowing you to conduct commerce whenever you want to be doing it,” said Anuj Nayar, PayPal’s head of global initiatives. “As more and more of your life goes through the mobile environment, the idea of going to your desktop or laptop for commerce is going away.”

Right. Don’t go to your desktop or laptop, but do go to Facebook? Is the idea that we are somehow going to live inside Facebook someday? Is that what “the mobile environment” that “more and more of our lives are going through?”

“Tech Jargon” might make a good Halloween costume.