The Buzz: Imagine that; it’s our 100-day mark, too, Mr. President
Published 1:30 am Friday, May 2, 2025
By Jon Bauer / Herald Opinion Editor
Coincidentally, it’s also the 100-day mark for the return of The Buzz, give or take; we can’t count past 19 since the Lawnmower Incident. To our credit, we’re pretty sure we can’t be blamed for a looming global economic recession or the Rococo-a-go-go decor of the Oval Office. Clearly, that’s Joe Biden’s fault. As for the rest:
Sorry to report, but we egg-hausted our limit of egg puns five words ago: In an exclusive interview with ABC News, President Trump discussed his first 100 days in office and said he’s kept his promise to lower prices, specifically on groceries and eggs. Said Trump: “Well, eggs are down 87 percent since I got involved. And by the way, and there were plenty of eggs for Easter, which we just went through.”
Judging by the odor reportedly wafting around the president during the White House Easter Egg Roll the following Monday, we’re assuming he “went through” a dozen or so hard-boiled the day before on his own.
Tattoo you: Also during the ABC interview, Trump discussed a photo that reportedly showed the knuckle tattoos of a man deported because of an “administrative error” to a Salvadoran prison as proof the man was a member of the MS-13 gang. The photo, showing symbols on each knuckle, also had the initials and numbers M, S, 1 and 3 superimposed above each symbol as an alleged interpretation of the symbols. Trump, however, repeatedly insisted the superimposed figures were part of the tattoo. “Why don’t you just say, ‘Yes, he does,’” Mr. Trump finally said to the interviewer, “and, you know, go on to something else.”
Well, we’re convinced. As with anything written in black Sharpie, it must be true. On to something else, then …
Boutros Boutros-Ghali: Trump on Thursday shuffled some top staff positions, moving national security adviser Michael Waltz to the United Nations ambassador post and adding Waltz’s former duties to those of Secretary of State Marco Rubio. Waltz raised security concerns when he mistakenly included the top editor of The Atlantic to a Signal chat group during which sensitive military information was shared by Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth.
A couple of thoughts: Waltz might want to let an aide update the contact list on his phone so that when he sets up a U.N. Security Council group chat he doesn’t unintentionally include the top editor of Teen Vogue. And if you’re wondering why Hegseth has yet to be replaced, the president is considering a couple of new posts for him as well: either head librarian at Annapolis, where Hegseth has already gotten a head start at protecting midshipmen from woke ideology by banning books, or the White House Press Briefing Room’s male makeup consultant.
What if we used gold lettering on the tote bag? President Trump has signed an executive order that instructs the Corporation for Public Broadcasting to end federal funding of NPR and PBS and bar local public radio and television stations from using federal money for NPR and PBS programs. It also asks Congress to claw back more than $1 billion already allocated to the CPB.
Coming up on your local PBS station: At 8 a.m. it’s “The Back Alley Sock Puppets,” brought to you by the letters, N, S and F for non-sufficient funds; at noon, it’s “Aluminum Casserole Pan Dump Recipes,” brought to you by a generic container of salt; and at 6 p.m. it’s “Les MacQuoid Reads His TikTok Feed,” with Forecaster Brett Boatwhistle sticking his head out the window for the day’s weather report.
You’re a mean one, Mr. Trump: Trump, taking questions following a Cabinet meeting Wednesday, conceded that a trade battle with China might result in emptier store shelves this Christmas, especially toy stores, but the impact would be manageable. “You know, somebody said, ‘Oh, the shelves are going to be open,’” Trump said. “Well, maybe the children will have two dolls instead of 30 dolls, you know? And maybe the two dolls will cost a couple of bucks more than they would normally.”
You got that, Cindy Lou Who? You’re not getting 30 dolls. What you are going to do is stand in the circle, hand-in-hand with the rest of the Whos, wear your red MWGA hat and sing “Fah-ho-doris, dah-who-doris,” and be happy with the two dolls that Papa Who made for you out of empty Who Brew cans because we’re bringing Sneed-manufacturing back to Whoville. And, young Who lady, I don’t want to hear any complaints about the TofuWhofurky roast beast.
Email Jon Bauer at jon.bauer@heraldnet.com. Follow him on BlueSky @jontbauer.bsky.social.
