Let’s dip into our Monday morning headlines account:
•”More Americans opting out of banking system”: More Americans, even those with checking and savings accounts, have limited or no interaction with banks, instead relying on check cashers and payday lenders to manage their finances.
Yikes. When people deem “payday lenders” more trustworthy than banks, that’s a statement of biblical proportions.
•“A new kind of monkey, with colors that set it apart”: Known by people in the Democratic Republic of Congo as the lesula, scientists are raving about the monkey’s unique coloring. It has a blond chin and upper chest, in contrast to its dark limbs. It has a reddish-colored lower back and tail. Its butt and genital area is bare, and blue.
“It’s a brilliant blue, really pretty spectacular,” said researcher John A. Hart. (Take note, those who come up with names for paint. Lesula Perianal Blue.) Missing from this detailed description is mention of the monkey’s great long nose, and his very world-weary eyes, like he’s pondering one of nature’s great mysteries, like why researchers are obsessed with his backside.
•”Nike’s uniform pants leave little to imagination”: The see-through pants were all the online talk after the first week of the regular season. USA Today notes, “… the moisture makes their pants stick to body parts around the pants area.” (Cue the lesula monkey’s weary look.)
Doesn’t it seem like Nike, which created dozens of new NFL uniforms for the 2012-13 season, did a real rush job on most, if not all of them? Designers may not have noticed see-through pants problem, so intent as they were on making sure the Nike Swoosh is the first thing the eye goes to on the jerseys, as illustrated on the Seahawks uniforms.
•”Thief drives straight through Apple Store window”: “Uh, is this where I can get a smartphone?”
”Killer whales live on after menopause to protect sons”: Females give birth in their 30s, but can live for another 50 years. After humans, they have one of the longest post-reproductive life spans; as do elephants and chimpanzees. University of Exeter scientists used long-term records to identify possible reasons for this long phase of life.
“Prolonged life after menopause remains one of nature’s great mysteries,” said Dr. Darren Croft, who led the study.
Go ahead and save that one to throw out at Thanksgiving dinner.
•”7-foot-4-inch Great Dane is world’s tallest dog”: He was recruited by at least three major universities to play center for their basketball teams before his demand for an “outdoor lockeroom” and unlimited Scooby snacks finally caught someone’s attention.
Have a brilliant, really pretty spectacular week.