| HeraldNet - Snohomish County's online news source |
 SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2009 7:28 am |
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• More jibba-jabba November 7 • Official Bikini Inspector November 6 • Hens lay, eggs lie November 5 • 'Gimme that chip' November 3 • Speaw and magic helmet November 2 |
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More jibba-jabba The national unemployment rate has hit double digits for the first time since 1983, when a nightclub bouncer-turned-actor named Mr. T took the nation by storm on the hit TV series “The A Team.” In a related development, Mr. T on Friday formally added “people looking for jobs” to his official list of fools to be pitied. It'll do 35 mph on the freeway: A 1965 Volkswagen van that was stolen 35 years ago in Spokane recently turned up in a shipping container on the Los Angeles waterfront. Officials can't find the original owner. He or she is likely in hiding, scared to death at the thought of having to actually drive a '65 VW van, a vehicle in which the driver's sternum is the crumple zone. DMV frequent flier: A South Korean woman finally passed the written test for a driver's license — on her 950th attempt. But don't hand over the keys to the Daewoo Nubira just yet — she still must take and pass the behind-the-wheel test. Vegas oddsmakers estimate she will require 12,436 attempts to successfully parallel park. — Mark Carlson, Herald staff ... [Read More]
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Official Bikini Inspector A Grab-N-Go bikini espresso stand was shut down after health inspectors found several code violations, including the lack of a proper hand-washing station. To ensure cleanliness, baristas will start serving customers directly from a soapy shower. Mermaid makes money: Despite the traditional attire, Starbucks is doing just fine, reporting a jump in profits. The company made a swift turnaround thanks to 800 store closures. The slash-and-burn approach has left some cities virtually barren, with only three Starbucks stores at every intersection. Maybe it's the caffeine: American companies have fewer workers but are squeezing more work out them. Productivity made its biggest jump in six years over the summer. Productivity will probably come back down for the fall, when economists factor in the hours workers spend researching fantasy football. Speaking of football: The Huskies meet an old friend this week at UCLA: Rick Neuheisel. UCLA hasn't improved on the field under Slick Rick, but its March Madness basketball betting pool has never been better. — Doug Parry, Herald staff ... [Read More]
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Murkier by the dozen: Confused by the labels on egg cartons that claim the eggs are from “cage-free,” “free-range” or “pasture-raised” chickens? Martha Stewart explains what each means, but be prepared to put aside your notions of happily clucking hens scratching outside a homey coop. Sorry, but if you want to think idyllic thoughts while eating your Denver omelette, you're going to have to raise the chickens yourself. --- It's only fair: About 600 atheists and agnostics will gather in Seattle this weekend for the annual convention of the Freedom From Religion Foundation. Along with a Nonprayer Breakfast, Seattle radio host Ron Reagan is scheduled to speak. It's comforting to know that even atheists gather to listen to long and tedious sermons on Sundays. --- Next Halloween he can be a convict: An Ohio man dressed as a Breathalyzer for Halloween was pulled over by police and arrested for drunken driving. Police said the man's blood-alcohol level was 0.158 percent, well above the 0.08 percent limit. Officers did thank the man for saving them the trouble and blowing into his own costume. ... [Read More]
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'Gimme that chip' Today's “Seinfeld” pop culture reference: What's a person to do when flu season collides with the holiday party season? Health experts say you don't have to cancel parties this fall and winter, but they do have some suggestions for keeping party-goers from sharing germs. For instance: Stay home if you feel ill. Avoid using a communal punch bowl for beverages. Mark your glass. And for Pete's sake, don't double-dip that chip. --- Wait, Oregon or Maine? Depending on the outcome of city council races on Tuesday, a proposal to change the name of Vancouver, Wash., to Fort Vancouver may have enough support. Proponents say the change is necessary to clear up confusion between it and Vancouver, B.C. If the city council really hopes to clear up the confusion it should just change the name to something closer to the city's true nature: North Portland. --- Beefeaters gin up trouble: Tower of London officials have confirmed they have suspended two of the fortress's famous yeoman warders, popularly known as Beefeaters, because they had harassed and bullied the first female member of the corps. The offending warders have been busted in rank from Beefeater to Meathead. ... [Read More] E-mail | Print | Comment
Speaw and magic helmet Kill de wabbit. Kill de wabbit: The Everett Symphony and Imagine Children's Museum have teamed up for Saturday's family concert, “Goldyhands and the Three Bows,” with music that includes Vivaldi's “Four Seasons." The Buzz supports introducing kids to classical music and the arts, and you can read all about it in our new book, “Everything I Know About Classical Music I Learned from Bugs Bunny Cartoons.” --- Close but no cigar: Kosovo's capital of Pristina welcomed Bill Clinton on Sunday as it unveiled an 11-foot gilded statue of the former U.S. president. The statue doesn't bear the most striking resemblance to Clinton, but maybe that's because it doesn't show him with his pants around his ankles. --- Another nonholiday ruined: Hoping to avoid the controversy of last year, the state will bar religious and other nongovernmental displays from inside buildings at the Capitol in Olympia during the holiday seasons. We understand, but it just won't be Festivus if we can't go to Olympia to gather 'round the Festivus Pole for the Airing of Grievances and Feats of Strength. ... [Read More]
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Adolescent Frankensteins growing up in Sultan Monster mash-up: A new supernatural novel, “Frostbite,” appears to follow a theme familiar to another series of books popular with teen readers, this time among werewolves in the Northwest Territories of the Canadian Arctic. Teenage vampires in Forks? Hip young werewolves in Canada? We’ve got to get in on this. The Buzz is laying claim to a new book series about adolescent Frankensteins growing up in Sultan. You’d wear sandals, too, if you had eight feet: Scientists have announced the discovery of two new species of spider, including one that prefers sipping plant sap to nibbling on the tasty ants around it. Scientists also noticed that the vegan spider used a canvas bag rather than paper or plastic when gathering nectar and wears eight tiny Birkenstocks. Not that we’re speaking from personal experience: Two Indiana high school sophomores are suing their school district after they were punished for posting photos of themselves in lingerie on MySpace during summer break. Without taking sides on the legal issues, The Buzz would have advised the girls that the trick to avoiding trouble when, for example, mooning a rival high school team from a school bus window is to make sure there’s no photographic evidence. ... [Read More]
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Big love boat The world’s largest cruise ship set sail for Florida from its shipyard in Finland on Friday. The 1,200-foot Oasis of the Seas boasts four swimming pools, a 1,300-seat theater, a golf course and too many other amenities to list. Passengers will be hard-pressed to enjoy them, however, as they’ll spend two-thirds of their cruise trying to find their rooms. --- Miracle on the tarmac: Move over, Sully Sullenberger, we have a new hero pilot — the one who booted an obnoxious 2-year-old and his mom off a plane in San Jose. Of course, the kid could have been moved into the cockpit for a nice quiet nap with the flight crew. --- Bad News Garage: A mechanic in Tennessee, who presumably had a boat payment due, allegedly supplemented his income by tampering with parked cars, and then coming to their stranded owners’ aid. The mechanic fell under suspicion when his “customers” realized he 1.) was able to fix their problem the first time every time, 2.) refrained from finding and fixing other problems without their OK, and 3.) never presented them with a $934.66 bill and a shrug. ... [Read More]
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Must have been an iceberg What iceberg? It must be true; it's on the Interwebs: A Friday Harbor blogger was forced to admit that a photo he had posted showing a sinking Steilacoom II ferry had been faked. Had the ferry actually been sinking, Washington State Ferries would have immediately ordered a multimillion-dollar study outlining options for bailing water from the vessel. --- We interrupt this broadcast: On this day in 1938, Orson Welles staged his “War of the Worlds” radio drama, which featured breaking news reports about an attack by flying saucers from Mars that many listeners believed was real. Of course, it's preposterous to believe that anyone today watching breaking news reports on cable networks would be tricked by breathless reports about little people in saucer-shaped craft. --- Popped for his weasel: Police arrested a Florida man who had shoplifted a ferret from a pet store by shoving it into his pants. Along with theft the man could be charged with using a “special weapon” because he took the ferret from his pants and shoved it in a young man's face. The Buzz says throw the book at the guy. We'd push for charges of assault with a deadly mammal and carrying a ferret without a concealed weasel permit. ... [Read More]
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Bitter over Boeing? Who, us? As are many people in the Puget Sound region, The Buzz is disappointed by the news that Boeing has decided on Charleston, S.C., for the location of its second assembly line for the 787 Dreamliner. So if you'll allow us to get this out of our system ... Steven won't need a casket then: Wal-Mart has added caskets to its selection of low-priced goods available on its Web site. When we searched for “caskets” we were shown models such as the Executive Privilege steel casket. The search also offered among the casket choices — and we are not making this up — the DVD of Steven Seagal's “Hard to Kill.” ...
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... and I'm not a PC: Microsoft is backing out of a deal to advertise its new Windows 7 operating system during a “Family Guy” special because the Fox series, known for its raunchy humor, doesn't fit Microsoft's image. Some wonder why Microsoft is just now realizing “Family Guy” is less than a wholesome show. But to be fair, the software maker only recently upgraded to Windows 7 and got its Windows Media Player to work so they could watch an episode. --- Not including stops at Tim Horton's, 1,800 miles: The Everett Silvertips are in Kootenay, B.C., today, their first stop in a two-week, six-game road trip to Canadian cities, a 1,833-mile journey by chartered bus. That's an entire team of young men traveling two weeks on a bus. The charter company has already placed its order for a 40-gallon barrel of Febreze. --- Chihuahuas especially: Based on the number of winning videos it has shown, ABC's “America's Funniest Home Videos” says that dogs are funnier than cats, paws down, 136 laugh-worthy dogs to 34 snicker-inducing cats. A cat spokesman said the comparison is unfair because cat humor is more cerebral and doesn't translate well on TV. ... [Read More]
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Overscheduled or undermaintained? Parenting writer Angie Wagner tackles the big question for moms and dads these days: Is it wise to fill kids' schedules with activities? But forget the children — what about the minivan? If your kid-hauler starts making all kinds of squealing, creaking and groaning noises, you'll know it's time to lay off the trips to Soccer World USA — you're going to need the money to get the car fixed. No parking: California first lady Maria Shriver apologized on Monday after video captured her parking her car in a “red zone” reserved for emergency vehicles. Shriver would, however, be allowed to park in a new “purple zone” advocated by her husband, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, in which parking would be restricted to action heroes. Sickos: Businesses must plan for the swine flu's effects on their employees, but that doesn't include draconian measures such as lining everyone up to take their body temperature, human resources experts say. However, if a sick person insists on coming to work just to save paid time off for a Christmas Disneyland vacation, cubicle mates may demand their co-worker's temperature be taken — by a cow veterinarian. — Mark Carlson, Herald writer ... [Read More]
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Cash for Candy Hey kids: Here's a chance to fight Mr. Tooth Decay and put some money in your pocket. A dental clinic in Edmonds will pay $5 a pound for your Halloween candy. The idea isn't new. During the height of the housing boom, WaMu was accepting candy corn as payment on some of its subprime mortgages. And salt them, too: With winter weather approaching, AAA Washington offers 10 handy tips to get our cars ready. Failure to prepare for winter weather not only messes up your commute, but can even cost you your job. Just ask Seattle's lame-duck mayor, Greg Nickels. Last year, he failed to heed No. 11 on the winter driving tip sheet for elected officials: Make sure all of your city's freakin' snow-covered streets get plowed. Beeeeeep! The folks at your local fire department say now's a good time to check and replace, if necessary, the batteries in your home's smoke detectors. To test the alarms, try roasting coffee beans in your oven. Even better, get the entire family involved — have your teenager cook dinner. — Mark Carlson, Herald staff ... [Read More]
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What a deal! It'll do everything but cheat for you: Computer maker Acer Inc. is releasing a laptop with a 3-D screen that with the help of special glasses appears to give three-dimensional depth to images on screen. For just $780, the Acer Aspire 5738DG-6165 will make you believe you're using a real deck of cards when you play solitaire. And a big pink taxi came and took my girl away: Women in Puebla, Mexico, are big fans of a fleet of 35 pink taxi cabs that are driven by female cabbies and are meant only for female passengers who say they are tired of the leering and flirting they must endure from some male cab drivers. The other thing women say they like about the pink taxis? The seats are never left up. But Maaahm: Herald columnist Julie Muhlstein took a test drive in a new sport utility vehicle that allows parents to set some controls, such as stereo volume and even maximum speed, for the inexperienced drivers in the family. What the 2010 Ford Expedition can't do is silence the persistent whining sound from the driver's seat when it's occupied by a teen driver. —Jon Bauer, Herald staff ... [Read More]
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Monopoly? Luxury tax (Pay $100): A 19-year-old Norwegian student won $20,580 and the title of tycoon at the Monopoly World Championship in Las Vegas, when a competitor landed on North Carolina Avenue and was bankrupted when he couldn't afford the $1,600 rent. It's nice to see growing interest in old-fashioned board games that can take our minds off home foreclosures and other worries of the day. Go directly to jail: An adult hall monitor at a New York high school is facing larceny charges after suspicious teenagers planted a video camera in a locker and caught the woman stealing from students. And she would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for those dang kids. You have won second prize in a beauty contest. Collect $10: Fox news commentator and Everett native Glenn Beck's recent visit to his boyhood home of Mount Vernon to accept the key to the city cost between $10,000 and $18,000 in police overtime, that city's newspaper reports. Mount Vernon Mayor Bud Norris has asked Beck to return the key so he can open the lock on the city's cash box to pay the bill. ... [Read More]
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Sobering thoughts But Your Honor, I never left my chair: A Minnesota man has pleaded guilty to drunken driving while operating a motorized recliner. The man had a blood alcohol level of 0.29 while driving his chair, part La-Z-Boy, part riding lawnmower, when it struck a parked car. We're more curious about what his blood alcohol level was when he got the idea to mount a recliner on a lawnmower. --- You'll excuse me for not shaking hands: Among this weekend's onstage choices in Seattle is “Puppetry of the Penis,” adult performance art by two men practiced in the art of “genital origami." We have not seen this show, but we're pretty sure that, once again, blood alcohol level had some part to play in the thought: “We should take this on the road.” --- What clown? A study concluded that people tend to miss things around them as they talk on cell phones when it noted that 25 percent of people using phones failed to notice a clown riding a unicycle through the campus of Western Washington University in Bellingham. Those who didn't see the clown said they were distracted by the guy in the motorized recliner and the two guys behind him practicing “genital origami.” ... [Read More]
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Super duuuperrr! Microsoft today releases its latest operating system, Windows 7, which has been earning positive reviews and is expected to erase bad memories about Vista, its reviled predecessor. So what does Microsoft do to celebrate? Introduce the software with that cute 4-year-old girl who says, “I'm a PC”? Nope. Next to a computer monitor it sits CEO Steve Ballmer, voted most likely to reprise Peter Boyle's portrayal of the monster in the musical version of “Young Frankenstein.” --- My Red Cross CPR class didn't cover this: About 58 percent of pet owners say they would perform mouth-to-snout resuscitation on their pets in an emergency. About 63 percent of dog owners and 53 percent of cat owners said they'd perform CPR. Fish owners just shrugged their shoulders. --- Shocking development: The maker of Taser stun guns is warning police agencies not to aim for a suspect's chest because of the risk of an “adverse cardiac event” and should instead aim for areas other than the chest. But not there, either. ... [Read More] E-mail | Print | Comment
Economics is super freaky Not surprisingly, it's been a good year for books about business and economics. Among recent releases is “SuperFreakonomics,” a follow-up to the 2005 best-seller “Freakonomics,” which chronicled the economics of drug-dealing and similar topics. Fans of funkmaster Rick James may be disappointed to learn that the book, despite its title, makes no mention of James' contributions to the economy through his purchase of hair beads and drug paraphernalia. Houston, we don't want a problem: NASA expects to launch its next-generation moon rocket, the Ares I, in a test of the vehicle's first stage next week. NASA, hoping to head off any delays, already has warned cable news channels to ignore any claims by Richard Heene that one of his sons has sneaked on board the rocket before launch. You're not going anywhere, mister: A Swiss court denied film director Roman Polanski's appeal to be released as he fights extradition to the U.S. for alleged sex with a 13-year-old girl in 1977. Polanski had agreed to electronic monitoring, but the Swiss panel considered the diminutive Polanski a flight risk because he recently had purchased several mylar balloons, a wicker basket and duct tape. —Jon Bauer, Herald staff ... [Read More]
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Save now, splurge in a decade or so Christmas club If you want to avoid spending too much of your paycheck or racking up credit-card debt on Christmas gifts this year, you need to start planning now, personal finance experts say. And they're right — careful financial planning really does pay off. Start saving now and you should have enough cash set aside for a joyous Christmas 2014. Remote control: A carjacker in Visalia, Calif., was foiled when technicians at General Motors' OnStar service in Detroit issued a command that disabled the stolen Chevrolet Tahoe's gas pedal. As he sat handcuffed in the back seat of a patrol car, the thief was heard to say, “Man, those SUVs sure do run out of gas fast.” Just for her: The Arts Council of Snohomish County's Gal-apalooza wearable arts fair returns for its 12th year Saturday in downtown Everett. Its motto: “Everything for the Girl.” But what about the boys? Don't worry about them. We're in the midst of a lengthy festival dedicated to men. It's called football season. ... [Read More]
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“I'm not dead yet”: The Buzz would like to take this opportunity to correct an error in last Monday's “Watchwords” promo on Page A1. We stated that the four surviving members of Monty Python's Flying Circus would reunite to celebrate a documentary about the British comedy troupe, which airs on the Independent Film Channel this week. For the record, there are five surviving members of Monty Python; Michael Palin isn't dead; he's just pinin' for the fjords. --- Come into my parlor: Herald writer Sarah Jackson talked to a Seattle arachnid specialist about some of the more common myths about spiders, including that they come up through sink drains and people unwittingly eat spiders in their sleep. We'll bust another myth: Being bitten by a radioactive spider will not give you superhuman powers and a tingling spidey-sense. --- Up, up and away: Authorities have concluded that last week's Great Colorado Balloon Chase and Media Circus was a hoax, apparently plotted by Richard Heene in a bid to land a reality television show. Previously, his family has appeared on ABC's “Wife Swap." If felony charges stick, Heene should be able to pitch a new reality series to producers: “Prison Cell Mate Swap.” ... [Read More]
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Battle of the windbags Suit up, Rush, but not for football: The Rev. Al Sharpton has threatened to sue conservative radio talk show host and bounced football team buyer Rush Limbaugh after Limbaugh said Sharpton played “a leading role” in two riots in the 1990s, although Sharpton was not present during either melee. Forget football, we're buying season tickets to Sharpton vs. Limbaugh. --- Can we talk? By the middle of next year, cameras, cell phones and computers will be able to “talk” to each other using Wi-Fi without first connecting to a wireless network (Page D2). Here's what they're just itching to share amongst themselves: The camera says your shots are always out of focus. Your phone says your text messages are laughably misspelled. And your computer has been saving up a history of all those “adult” Web sites you like to visit. --- Party like it's Dec. 20, 2012: Scientists already are working overtime to debunk the latest claim among the tinfoil-hat crowd who point to the final days of the ancient Mayan calendar as proof that the world will end on Dec. 21, 2012 (Page A6). Considering Mayan civilization won't be around for the end of its own calendar, we're not putting off buying our LOL Cats calendar for 2013. —Jon Bauer, Herald staff ... [Read More]
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Please go away The Buzz would like to walk back from our Friday comments on the balloon boy caper in Colorado. The 6-year-old is blameless; not so his parents, who apparently burn with an insatiable desire to get their faces on the teevee. If The Buzz sat in judgment of Richard and Mayumi Heene, here's how we'd rule: No more TV. That means no more pseudo-smutty reality shows. No more live interviews on Action Eyewitness McNews. No more uploading of “storm chasing” videos to YouTube. And take down the ones already there. This surely would be a torture for mom and dad — but a blessing for their kids. Skiing you can afford: Columnist Sharon Wootton visits a ski area in Eastern Washington where all-day lift tickets cost $10. That's right, just 10 bucks. That kind of money might buy you a glass of beer at Aspen, Colo. — as long as it's Coors. It happened at the fair: A film airing tonight on Channel 9 documents Seattle's first world's fair: The Alaska-Yukon-Pacific Exposition of 1909. Don't remember this fair? It was the one with the steam-powered monorail. — Mark Carlson, Herald staff ... [Read More]
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Hey balloon boy in Colorado: You’re in big trouble, buster. Looks to us like you’re responsible for the most tension-filled nationally broadcast helicopter chase since the low-speed white Ford Bronco caper back in ’94. We swear we could almost feel Wolf Blitzer vibrating. Young man, after putting us through that, the nation wants to give you a don’t-you-ever-do-that-again swat on your behind. Oh, and you’re grounded. Best friends forever: The new documentary “More Than a Game” traces NBA superstar LeBron James’ friendship with his high school teammates. And that touching friendship could only have deepened once James signed his first pro contract and started picking up $2,500 dinner checks three or four nights a week. Thanks, but no thanks: The National Park Service has approved a plan to restrict snowmobiles in Yellowstone National Park. The Palin family promptly canceled its planned winter getaway to see Old Faithful. ... [Read More]
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Limbaugh sacked Shutting down the Rush: A group of investors seeking to buy the St. Louis Rams NFL team has dropped conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh as a partner, saying his participation “complicated” the effort. Limbaugh blamed his being bounced on the left and its attempts to “destroy conservatism." Limbaugh forgets, however, that the vast left-wing conspiracy doesn't follow football and prefers to spend its time drinking wine, going to the theater and listening to NPR on Sundays. --- Hungry? A 29-year-old New York man arrested for growing marijuana tried to destroy the evidence, police say, by eating one of the marijuana plants during booking. Police had confiscated 116 plants. If convicted, the man will be sentenced to eat the remaining 115 plants. --- Satisfactory days are here again: Although the economy has a long way to go yet, many cheered the Dow Jones industrial average's return to the 10,000 mark Wednesday, having recovered from its low point of 6,547 in March. It is now safe to read the statements for your 401(k) without first checking your supply of Zoloft. ... [Read More]
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Kindle hindered Why books will never die: College students aren't warming to Amazon.com's Kindle device, which can be loaded with digital versions of textbooks. Students reportedly miss being able to highlight passages, scribble notes in the margins and mark pages with sticky notes. But the real problem is they can't sell the Kindles back to the bookstore at the end of the quarter for beer money. --- Problem solved: A Russian court has ruled against the grandson of Josef Stalin, who once said, “Death solves all problems,” dismissing a libel suit against a Russian newspaper that called the Soviet dictator a “bloodthirsty cannibal." However, the paper was told to apologize for its comparison of Stalin's mustache to a “greasy ferret.” --- Chasing a Dreamliner: Several Washington state-based companies, including Microsoft, Costco, the Seattle Seahawks and Everett's Cascade Bank have written the Boeing Co. encouraging it to bring its second 787 line to Everett rather than move the jobs elsewhere. Businesses in South Carolina, another potential site for the 787 plant, also have made their case to Boeing, including Buck's Farm Supply and Propane, Tony's Truck Toys and the Hooters restaurant in North Charleston. ... [Read More]
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Sing along with The Buzz Name that tune Whatever will be will be: A recent survey determined that the most annoying word or phrase used in conversation is “whatever,” easily beating “you know,” “it is what it is” and “at the end of the day". Of course, context is key. When Doris Day sings “Que Sera, Sera,” “whatever” is much less annoying than when the word is employed as the last refuge in the argument of an eye-rolling teenager. --- Keep your eyes on the prize: The title track to Michael Jackson's documentary, “This Is It,” was released for free on the Internet and features Jackson backed by his brothers. Caught up in the emotion of awarding President Obama the Nobel Peace Prize, the Nobel Committee listened to the song and immediately presented a Grammy to the Posthumous King of Pop. --- Clouds in my coffee: Singer and songwriter Carly Simon, best known for her 1973 hit, “You're So Vain,” is suing Starbucks, claiming it failed to adequately promote her 2008 album, which it was selling in its stores. Howard Schultz, you can bet Simon's next song will be about you. ... [Read More]
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Switched off General Electric says it soon will begin testing a new kind of “smart” power grid that turns off household appliances during times of peak demand for electricity. The system is intended to save energy, but it also could touch off widespread rioting if it turns off electric coffee makers every morning at 7:30. New line of work: A yacht builder in Vancouver, Wash., has been hard-hit by the recession, but now it’s putting people back to work building components for renewable energy generators such as wind turbines. In a nod to its pleasure-boat heritage, the company will equip the turbines with built-in drink holders and beer coolers and make the marketing pitch that they “sleep eight.” See? They’re not that dumb: Celebrities such as Courtney Love and Kanye West have ditched their Twitter accounts, even though they had millions of followers on the social networking site. It’s encouraging to find out that even celebs known for doing stupid stuff sometimes make smart choices. ... [Read More]
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What's a guy to do with an unwanted megahouse? Multiple use: A developer who made his fortune manufacturing golf clubs now says he's hurting because he can't sell an eight-bedroom, 16,500-square-foot spec house he built in the exurbs of Orange County, Calif. — at least not for anything close to his $10 million asking price. So what's the poor guy going to do with the unwanted megahouse? The Buzz can think of three options: Help ease severe overcrowding in California's prison system by housing inmates. About 50 7-by-9-foot cells could fit in the 3,200-square-foot master suite by itself. Buy an Arena Football League franchise and play home games in the air-conditioned, 10-car garage. Offer tax breaks to Boeing and try to lure the second 787 line. It's the bottle talking: Drug manufacturers have finally come up with something really useful. It's a pill bottle that can send you phone messages if you haven't taken your dose in a while. For aspirin, the message could be something along the lines of, “I'm good for the heart.” For Viagra, it's more like, “What's the matter? Keep striking out?” ... [Read More]
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Marge Simpson in Playboy Great expectations: Some argue that President Barack Obama has no business winning the Nobel Peace Prize after just nine months in office. And you've got to admit that the expectations for Obama are higher than ever. If he doesn't win the NBA Slam Dunk Contest in February, let the Jimmy Carter comparisons commence. By the way, the prize's full title is the Nobel Prize for Peace/Fox News Guaranteed Weekend Airtime Filler. Overhead crabgrass: The “green roof” on the Mukilteo City Hall building is overgrown with weeds and needs to be redone. The city could have paid homage to many Snohomish County lawns, and saved some money to boot, by leaving the weedy roof as is and plopping a 1989 Chevrolet Corsica, a rusty charcoal grill and some plastic kiddie toys up there. If only we could hear her: Marge Simpson is going to become the first animated character to appear in a pictorial in Playboy magazine. Playboy executives say it won't really catch readers off-guard. They're used to seeing women who look like cartoon figures. ... [Read More]
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Just call her ‘Spud' Murray She could have played guard: State Congressmen Rick Larsen and Jay Inslee played a few games of pick-up basketball with fellow lawmakers against President Barack Obama and members of his administration on Thursday at the White House. No senators nor women played in Thursday's games, which must have been a disappointment for Sen. Patty Murray. True, she doesn't stand much taller than 5 feet, but she's had her tennis shoes laced up and ready all these years. --- That or “MacArthur Park”: Five women were arrested on assault charges in Stamford, Conn., after police alleged they attacked another woman because of her karaoke singing at Bobby Valentine's Sports Gallery Cafe. The judge rejected a motion to dismiss the charges on self-defense grounds after he learned the woman was not singing the Terry Jacks version of “Seasons in the Sun.” --- Don't leave the keys in the ignition: Lamborghini is sending one of its specially made high-tech police cars, which have a top speed of 202 mph, to Amsterdam for a emergency services exposition. Colton Harris-Moore, if you're reading this, don't even think about it. ... [Read More] E-mail | Print | Comment |
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