A Tiger, Rams and Grizzlies, oh my!

TODAY’S LINEUP

A look at the top sports stories in today’s Herald:

Sometimes a win is a win

It may not have been pretty, but the Seahawks picked up a W — on the road no less — Sunday with a 27-17 victory over the hapless Rams. A week after a rough showing against the Vikings, the running game got back on track and the defense showed some signs of life. Though The Closer would like to see the Seahawks do it against a real NFL team.

Huskies awake from hibernation just in time

After a slow start put the Dawgs in a big hole against Montana Sunday night, the UW men’s basketball team came back to eek out a victory. Venoy Overton, who was benched for being late to the game — which he blamed on the Seattle Marathon — came up big, hitting a key free throw and blocking a shot late in the game. The Closer once missed deadline because he got lost in a charity run/walk 5K. All those ladies in pink shirts made him think he was in a pepto bismal fever dream..

Big Sky, bad losses

The UW women’s loss to Sacramento State on Sunday was another low point in the Tia Jackson era. After going 19 seasons without losing to a Big Sky team, UW has lost three times to Big Sky programs under the watch of Jackson. Uh, Tia, if you can’t beat the likes of Sacramento State then forget about heading just south of there to take on Stanford and Cal.

THE WARMUP PITCH

All the news you missed while you were downing that spiked apple cider at an Apple Cup tailgate party:

Tiger involved in most famous one-car accident since Jan and Dean

Tiger Woods’ world came crashing down (or at least into a tree) this weekend after he was involved in a one-car accident in his front lawn. There are conflicting reports about the accident, which happened a day after Woods was linked romantically to a New York hostess by the National Enquirer. TMZ.com reported that Woods got into a fight with his wife, Elin, before the accident. Since when did the National Enquirer and TMZ become reputable news sources? The Closer will now poke his eyes out with a dull pencil. Side note: The best Tiger joke comes via Yahoo!’s Dan Wetzel: Tiger came up a mail box and a parked car from a Tiger Slam.

Kickin’ Cougars while their down

This year’s Apple Cup was less about the Huskies return to mediocrity and more about the Cougars continued death spiral. Washington State went through three quarterback and didn’t get past the Huskies’ 33-yard line in a 30-0 loss, the first shutout in the Apple Cup in 41 years. Hey, since when did the Cougars hire Tyrone Willingham on their coaching staff?

Pistol Pete sticks it to Tricky Rick

Southern Cal head coach Pete Carroll called a deep bomb with less than a minute remaining in the Trojans’ 28-7 victory over UCLA on Saturday. Most people blamed it on Neuheisel calling timeout after the game seemed to be in doubt, but The Closer knows it was because Slick Rick stole the last turkey leg at Thanksgiving dinner at the Carroll household on Thursday.

A pair of farewells

Tim Tebow played his final game at The Swamp, while across the field Florida State’s Bobby Bowden was likely coaching his final game as the head of the Seminoles. It was a tad ironic because Bowden likely wouldn’t have been forced out of Tallahassee if he’d been able to recruit Tebow.

Don’t let the door hit you … part 1

ProFootballWeekly.com reported Sunday night that the Seahawks will not welcome Tim Ruskell back after this season is over. It’s funny, Paul Allen actually put the transition tag on Ruskell.

Don’t let the door hit you … part 2

Charlie Weis led his Fighting Irish to another defeat, this time at the hands of Jim Harbaugh and the Stanford Cardinal. During the post-game handshake, Harbaugh asked if Weis could make sure to have all of his stuff out of his office by the end of the weekend. Weis apparently agreed.

Don’t let the door hit you … part 3

The New Jersey Nets didn’t even let Lawrence Frank tie history Sunday night. Frank was relieved of his duties as head coach before the team took the court against the Lakers, who beat New Jersey to send the Nets to an 0-17 record and tie an NBA record for the worst start in history. After the announcement, Frank was serenaded to the tunes of “A Ballad for the Fallen Soldier.”

Peyton’s place is still perfection

After spotting Houston 13 points Sunday, Peyton Manning and the Colts rallied to win 35-27 and remain undefeated at 11-0. Manning even had the courtesy to awaken Colts coach Jim Caldwell from his nap to let him “coach” the team to victory.

Vince Young slays Leinart — again

Poor Matt Leinart. The guy gets to start an NFL game after waiting in the wings behind Kurt Warner and he gets to go against the guy who bounced him in the national championship game. Vince Young, like he did when he led Texas to a win in the Rose Bowl, scored a late touchdown with no time left on the clock to give Tennessee a win over Arizona on Sunday. Of course the biggest difference between the two is Leinart has to give the keys back to big poppa Warner next week.

Wow how the mighty have fallen

It wasn’t just Rick Neuheisel who had some explaining to do around the UCLA campus after this weekend. Ben Howland led his charges against the mighty 49ers of Long Beach State and were no match, losing to the Big West program for the first time in history. Howland denied that he’s on a one-man mission to kill John Wooden.

CURVE BALLS

Wild and wacky news from the world of sports:

Apparently Hines Ward doesn’t care about his melon

The Steelers wide receiver made some subtle jabs at his quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger, during an interview with Bob Costas before Sunday night’s showdown against the Ravens. The Closer suggests when Ward is a drooling mess when he gets older, the nurses clean him up with a Terrible Towel.

They do call it the Big Dance

College hoops teams, including Kentucky, that took part in the Cancun Challenge did not play basketball in a gym, but rather a modified ballroom, complete with chandeliers and marble columns. No truth to the rumor that scouts for “Dancing with the Stars” were there.

Birdman driveth

Nuggets forward Chris Andersen isn’t apparently feeling the aefects of the economy. The man known as Birdman went out and bought this. What, is the kid thinking of pulling off an armored car heist like that one in the movie Heat?

Ochocinco finds a deal

Looking like something out of the Star Wars movies, Chad Ochocinco flashed the great bargain he got on a Snuggie all over Twitter on Black Friday. Of course, it was nothing like the blanket coverage the Browns had on Ochocinco all day Sunday.