Every Tuesday the parking lot at the Carol Rowe Memorial Food Bank located at Edmonds United Methodist Church is packed. In 2015, the food bank provided 594,468 meals and helped 59,657 individuals; 130 people volunteer there each week.
A few blocks up the street, the Edmonds Elementary School ball fields are becoming crowded too — with Canada geese.
Now, I’ve never parked the car, whipped out my binoculars, set up a camping chair, sat down and counted, (if I did the principal would probably arrest me), but it looks like there are at least 100 geese congregating there on a regular basis. By my calculations, that’s $10,000 worth of organic, free-range, locally grown protein hanging out in Edmonds Bowl.
Think I’m exaggerating about how much that poultry would cost? You do the math. Last December when I was feeling adventurous, I briefly considered cooking a Christmas goose dinner. Then I saw the price tag. Our local grocery store was selling a free-range, organic, 14 lb. goose for $100. That would have only fed half of our guests and I wasn’t exactly sure how to cook goose, so I passed.
The living breathing geese I see in Edmonds are just as exclusive. They live in prime real estate, enjoy Puget Sound views, and have converted what once was an ordinary place for children to enjoy recess, into the largest toilets I have ever seen.
An adult goose poops between one to three pounds of excrement a day. I’ve never seen them wear diapers when they visit the playground, so a lot of that waste ends up where kids play.
Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to be an Edmonds Elementary School mom. Do they make their children remove their shoes before entering the car? Do they wash their kids’ socks in bleach? Think about how much goose poop must be in the crevices of their children’s sneakers. Or yuck, when the goose poop dries out in the sun the kids must inadvertently inhale it while playing kickball. That can’t be healthy for anyone, especially students with asthma.
Edmonds Elementary School isn’t the only place the geese like to hang out. The Civic Center Field is also a popular goose recreation zone. Leashed dogs aren’t allowed on the field, but geese can crap wherever they want. What used to be a nice place to walk around the track is now a place to wear Bog boots. When the Fourth of July rolls around and we spread out our picnic blanket to enjoy an evening of fireworks, I always wonder what we actually sit on.
What galls me the most is that all of this goose action occurs a couple of blocks from the food bank. Hungry people are on one side of the street, and Christmas dinners walk around on the other side.
The next time you visit Edmonds, don’t forget to pack hand sanitizer. The “roast beef of the skies” has taken over.
Jennifer Bardsley lives in Edmonds. Her book “Genesis Girl” comes out June 14. Find her online on Instagram @the_ya_gal
Twitter @jennbardsley or at teachingmybabytoread.com.
Talk to us
> Give us your news tips.
> Send us a letter to the editor.
> More Herald contact information.
