Congratulations, Moms! Your special day is finally here. Now’s your chance to grade it.
1) Mother’s Day wouldn’t be complete without breakfast in bed.
A: The French toast is delicious, your servers are angels and there are fresh flowers on your tray. (10 points)
B: Breakfast is edible — and accompanied by squabbling over who will carry the tray into your room. (5 points)
C. One child brings you a bowl of cereal while the other kid is still cooking eggs. All hell breaks loose, even though you offer to eat multiple breakfasts. (0 points)
2) Open your presents, Mom, you earned them.
A. That [fill in the blank] is just what you wanted. (10 points)
B. Your child made you an adorable gift in school last week, and gave it to you that very afternoon because he couldn’t wait. (5 points)
C. Your kid spent two minutes scribbling a card in pencil. Is that stick figure supposed to be you? (0 points)
3) Mother’s Day is an opportunity to be pampered.
A. Read a book, relax in the garden or go for a nice walk. Just don’t forget about your 2 o’clock appointment for a facial. (10 points)
B. The morning is yours to do as you please, then you get to attend your child’s sporting event. (5 points)
C. Your children are on their best behavior … for as long as possible. But after a few hours of white-knuckling it, a little voice shrieks “I hate Mother’s Day!” and the whole house shakes from the tantrum. (0 points)
4) Dinner is extra special.
A. Somebody who loves you booked reservations at your favorite restaurant a month ago. (10 points)
B. Your family has dinner covered. You like spaghetti and salad from a bag, right? (5 points)
C. Mother’s Day dinner will be exceptional—and you should know, because you’re cooking it. All the grandmas, aunts, uncles and cousins will be at your house soon. (0 points)
Tally your results
(35-40 points) Please don’t tell me about your Mother’s Day. I hate you.
(25-35) You’ve trained your family well. Nice work!
(10-25) Do you have small children?
(0-10) I don’t know what you got for Mother’s Day, but I hope it involved a bottle of wine.
Jennifer Bardsley lives in Edmonds. Her book “Genesis Girl” comes out June 14. Find her online on Instagram @the_ya_gal, Twitter @jennbardsley or at teachingmybabytoread.com.
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