By Lisa Abraham Akron Beacon Journal
A new television season is starting and that means a whole new crop of shows to dine to.
Admit it: You watch television while you eat.
We all do it.
Not you? Really?
I don’t believe you. Your pants are on fire.
This is the country where you can buy a refrigerator with a television screen on the door. We invented the TV dinner and the TV tray to eat it on. Television and eating go back as far as television, literally.
We watch television nearly every night with dinner in my house. (“I’d like to buy an ‘A.’ Pat, and please pass the peas.”)
So a question a co-worker asked got me thinking: “What kind of food would you serve at a Honey Boo Boo party?”
For those of you who haven’t had the experience, “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” is a new reality show on the TLC network about a Georgia family, whose youngest daughter — a perennial toddler beauty queen contestant — is nicknamed Honey Boo Boo.
While I have never actually watched this show, I know plenty about it from its frequent commercials and promotions.
“Opossum,” I told her, “on white bread with mayonnaise. You could consult the ‘White Trash Cookbook.’” (Yes, it is a real cookbook, I am not making this up.)
The Honey Boo Boo question prompted me to come up with a whole what-to-eat-with-what watch list.
“666 Park Avenue” (10 p.m. Sundays on ABC): This show is about a young couple that gets hired to manage a luxury hotel controlled by Satan.
Clearly, devil’s food cake is in order; or perhaps angel food cake, if you prefer to root for good over evil.
Other dishes that come to mind: hot wings, shrimp diavolo, deviled eggs, deviled ham, Tabasco sauce.
“Guys With Kids” (8:30 p.m. Wednesdays on NBC): It’s about three friends living in the same apartment building and learning how to be dads. Mac and cheese will keep both men and babies satisfied.
“Nashville” (10 p.m. on Wednesdays on ABC beginning Oct. 10): The show will trace the lives of an aging country singing star along with an up-and-coming young one.
Country music always makes me think of Elvis, so I’d serve fried peanut butter, banana and bacon sandwiches.
“Elementary” (10 p.m. Thursdays on CBS): This contemporary update of Sherlock Holmes, complete with a female Watson, is set in New York, which is a bummer because any Sherlock Holmes show really calls for British food. Fish and chips for everyone.
“Go On” (9 p.m. Tuesdays on NBC): Matthew Perry plays a sportscaster who enters group counseling after the death of his wife. His character is clearly grieving.
There’s a reason why we all deliver food when someone dies. Grieving calls for large amounts of eating, especially pie and cake. But I’d stick with pie, it’s so comforting.
“Animal Practice” (8 p.m. Wednesdays on NBC): This is about a veterinarian. Be sensitive and serve meatless meals.
“Chicago Fire” (10 p.m. Wednesdays on NBC starting Oct. 10): It’s “Law &Order,” but with fire instead of murder. Any show about a firehouse calls for a pot of three-alarm chili.
“Emily Owens, MD” (9 p.m. Tuesdays on the CW starting Oct. 16): It’s about a new medical school graduate learning the ropes of hospital life. I’d serve cafeteria food, green gelatin and lots of coffee.
“Vegas” 10 p.m. Tuesdays on CBS): “Vegas” is about a sheriff who tries to maintain law and order in 1960s Las Vegas.
Hmmm, I don’t care what year it is, any show about Vegas requires a buffet. Fill up the coffee table with all of your favorites, and since this was the 1960s, make sure there is shrimp cocktail.
“The Mindy Project”(9:30 p.m. Tuesdays on Fox): It stars Mindy Kaling as a single obstetrician who has a great career, but no luck in her love life.
Lots of women out there will be able to relate to this one, so let’s just all reach for that pint of Ben &Jerry’s.