Brother No. 1
Mohammed Morsi of the Muslim Brotherhood was declared winner of Egypt’s first free presidential election Sunday. Morsi now must find a way to stand up to the ruling generals who recently stripped the presidency of real power.
One thing seems certain: Morsi will not be able to consult with his predecessor, Hosni Mubarak, who has been too busy playing phone tag with Generalissimo Francisco Franco.
Supreme omertà: This morning, the Supreme Court may or may not hand down its ruling on the constitutionality of President Barack Obama’s health care insurance overhaul. In the leak-happy Beltway, the high court is the one institution that observes complete silence.
Well, except for Clarence Thomas. You can’t shut that guy up.
Sentient simians: Animal scientists have discovered that apes are smarter than we thought. For example, they stockpile weapons, discern gibberish from actual printed words, and delay instant gratification longer than a human child can.
Scientists, the next logical step is to subject the apes to “Jersey Shore” and see if it makes them more stupid.
— Mark Carlson, Herald staff