The Buzz

The Buzz: An otherwise blameless account of week that wasn’t

On today’s docket: Manafort, Shkreli and Eyman; all rise, but keep a close eye on your chair.

 

The Buzz: The Great Office Max Chair Theft and other capers

If there were no crimes, how would lawyers make their boat and alimony payments?

 

The Buzz: We totally would have gotten that ‘Jeopardy’ question

Has Howard Schultz checked with God about his plans to run in 2020?

 

The Buzz: With State of Union put off, at least we have Rudy

We’re totalling naming our emotional support coyote, Super Blood Wolf Moon.

The Buzz: As always, non-essential but still getting paid

A study says seniors most frequently share fake news. We’re counting on you to post this to Facebook.

The Buzz: The year in review that wasn’t

A look back at the best of fake news for 2018 (or at least what we could copy and paste).

The Buzz: We hacked into Santa’s naughty list and added names

And we were this close to making it through a column without a fruitcake joke.

The Buzz: Our Mocking Gun is locked and loaded

Trump declares there’s no ‘Smocking Gun,’ but something’s to blame for all these lame ducks.

The Buzz: Can’t say for sure, but here’s what Mueller redacted

Too bad about the bear spray and that Amazon robot; and it was up for Employee of the Quarter, too.

The Buzz: Deck the halls with guilty pleas and indictments

It’s beginning to look a lot like a Stephen King movie at the White House.

The Buzz: We’re still in the running for Amazon’s HQ53

Interested in my wardrobe of voting disguises? See my Craigslist ad.

The Buzz: Election’s over; Election 2020 coverage starts now

See this ‘I voted’ sticker? It’s my license to complain.

The Buzz: Would you mind picking up our mail for us?

Thanks. Now, go behind that brick wall and poke all the packages with this stick.

The Buzz: Still saving up spit for our DNA test

O, Canada, you’re stoned and staring at your hands.

Buzz Alert: THIS IS NOT A TEST, except of your patience

Apologies, love letters and raises for everybody.

The Buzz: We like beer, too, but it’s better if you’re conscious

You’re not laughing at us; you’re laughing with us, right?

The Buzz: Dealing drugs to octopi in the name of science

Never mind the Supreme Court; we want to work in a lab and watch animals get stoned.

The Buzz: Florence, the White House and other disasters

In solidarity with the residents of the Carolinas, we’re wearing our high-water pants.

The Buzz: Please define “lodestar” and use it in a sentence

We haven’t had this much fun since trying to guess who Deep Throat was.

The Buzz: Trust us; googling yourself not as fun as it sounds

Suprisingly, our resume was rejected for a job opening at the White House press office.