Disney on Heist

Disney on Heist

“Barest Necessities”: Disney says that a recent North Korean state TV performance for Dear Leader Kim Jong Un that included performers dressed as Mickey Mouse, Tigger and other Disney characters was not authorized by the entertainment company.

Which explains why the Disney crew was singing “We’re Following Dear Leader” adapted from “Peter Pan,” “Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it’s off to re-education camps we go” and “A Spoonful of Sugar (is your ration for the month).”

The only possible explanation: American League hitters were shut out, 8-0, by National League pitchers during the 2012 MLB All-Star Game in Kansas City, managing only six hits.

After the game, the American League All-Stars were released from the locker room and their uniforms were returned by the Seattle Mariner’s lineup.

Have I ever told you? The Pentagon announced that it plans to set up a searchable database of military medals and other awards to make it easier to ferret out those who fraudulently claim to have received military honors.

The proposal is being fought by the American Association of Old Coots who say the database leaves them only with tales of the “one that got away,” “that time I chased off a mountain lion” and “I have a copy of Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate.”

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