Friends in low places

Flush with advice: Michigan safety officials have a new way of encouraging people, men at least, not to drink and drive when they’ve been out at taverns: talking urinal cakes. The deodorizing urinal cakes play a message, in a friendly woman’s voice, reminding men to call a cab or a friend to get home safely.

But The Buzz thinks there’s a fatal flaw with this plan: Any guy who’s been drinking isn’t going to have the aim necessary to “activate” the urinal cake.

Tie me kangaroo down, sport: Drivers in Pasco were startled Saturday to see a kangaroo hopping down a state highway. Police corralled the marsupial until the owner could come and claim his exotic pet.

Drivers who were on their way home from local bars said they would listen the next time a urinal cake told them to call a cab.

God said, “Ha!” Scientists in Switzerland using the world’s largest atom smasher say they have found strong evidence of the Higgs boson, or “God particle,” an elusive speck that could help explain how the universe works.

But scientists were disappointed that when they cracked open the “God particle” it only reminded them to call a cab if they had had too much to drink.

More in Opinion

Editorial cartoons for Sunday, Sept. 24

A sketchy look at the day in politics.… Continue reading

Daydream is over; GOP must work with Democrats on ACA fix

Editorial: The Senate should end its latest ACA repeal effort and continue bipartisan talks.

Viewpoints: Who’s going to clean up Equifax’s mess?

You are, for starters. But there are things that credit agencies could do to secure your data.

Commentary: Include employee profit-sharing in tax reform

Tying corporate tax reform to profit-sharing would provide a fairer share for the middle class.

Commentary: Give retail marijuana balanced consideration

Retail sale of cannabis is up to Snohomish voters, and there are reasons to support it.

Will: America’s engine is being slowed by complacency

The Great Enrichment is being superseded by the Great Flinch, a recoil against friction and change.

Robinson: The GOP’s health care proposals keep getting worse

It’s hard to find anyone who knows anything about health insurance who likes this monstrous creation.

Parker: 25 years later, woman’s disappearance fresh in mind

Over the years, the work to find Dail Dinwiddie evolved into efforts to find and protect others.

Keillor: Voices in unison sing out our desire for common good

When you stand in a crowd and sing, it does pull people together.

Most Read