There are many words to describe how so many people end up in financial trouble, but one stands out.

Pretenders.

Sure, sometimes bad things happen and it’s not your fault. But many of you — and you know who you are — are experiencing economic problems because you were pretending to be rich.

Thomas Stanley has been examining the truly rich for years. A former university professor, he’s the co-author of one of my all-time favorite personal finance books, “The Millionaire Next Door.” It should have a permanent spot in your home library.

Just before year’s end, Stanley released “Stop Acting Rich … And Start Living Like a Real Millionaire” (Wiley, $26.95). I’m recommending this book as the February selection for the Color of Money Book Club.

The credit crisis and recession, Stanley says, have presented us with the opportunity to treat and cure the pretenders.

“But for the treatment to work, you must take a cold hard look at your balance sheet and at your life, and determine if you would be wealthier if you would stop acting rich,” he writes.

In Stanley’s new book, a millionaire is defined as someone with net-value investments of $1 million or more. The investments include such items as cash, stocks, bonds, mutual funds and equity shares in a private business. The author said he eschewed the traditional way people calculate wealth, particularly as it relates to the value of a home: If your net worth was $1.5 million with 85 percent of that from your home, and the value of your home depreciated by 50 percent — which it has for too many people — then your wealth wasn’t real.

Stanley’s research does a great job of proving that there’s a big difference between income and net worth. Many pretenders have become very good at generating income and enjoying a high standard of living. However, take this Stanley gem to the bank: “Those who are among the least productive in transforming their incomes into wealth are in the higher-status occupations.”

What do we often tell a child who expresses an interest in teaching?

“You won’t get rich as a teacher.”

Stanley has one major purpose for this latest installment in examining the lifestyles of the truly rich. He wants to make the case that if people stop acting rich, they can achieve the kind of happiness money can’t buy.

Here are just a few things Stanley found in his research on the wealthy:

Eighty-six percent of all prestige or luxury makes of motor vehicles are driven by people who are not millionaires.

Typically, millionaires pay about $16 (including tip) for a haircut.

Nearly four in 10 millionaires buy wine that costs about $10.

In the U.S., there are nearly three times more millionaires living in homes with a market value of under $300,000 than there are living in homes valued at $1 million or more.

Will the recession motivate pretenders to hit the reset button and not just act rich but live modestly like many real millionaires?

Stanley isn’t so sure.

“Time will tell if society and people have really changed,” he says.

“My research indicates that people — for generations — have become so accustomed to consuming that it is second nature, and I am fairly certain that they will resume their spendthrift ways once outward symptoms of the financial flu have passed.”

This book reminds me of a wonderful scripture.

Proverbs 13:7 in the Today’s New International Version Bible reads, “One person pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth.”

Don’t be a great pretender, pretending that you’re doing well when you only look the part. Read this book and find out how to emulate real-deal millionaires.

Washington Post Writers Group

Michelle Singletary’s Book Club

Thomas Stanley’s “Stop Acting Rich … And Start Living Like a Real Millionaire” (Wiley, $26.95) is the club’s February selection.

It’s easy to be a member. Join Singletary and Stanley for a live online discussion at 9 a.m. Pacific time March 4 at www.washingtonpost.com/discussions.

For a chance to win a book donated by the publisher, send an e-mail to colorofmoney@washpost.com with your name and address.