Business entertaining has definite do’s and don’ts

T is the season to be jolly. Well, sort of.

By the end of this holiday season, most of us will have attended our share of office parties, been tempted by far too many open bars and been unable to resist those cranberry-mint iced cakes at Starbucks or the calorie-laden equivalent offered by your neighbor in the next cubicle.

The challenge, of course, is to survive the next three weeks with an appropriate amount of good cheer and pleasantness without making a three-letter word pertaining to the midposterior of ourselves.

This is the World Series of business entertaining. It’s designed to boost our spirits, but it’s simultaneously fraught with hidden land mines. One embarrassing faux pas carries the potential of derailing our careers or business reputations.

My advice: Handle the holidays with the utmost of care. Be gracious, warm and act as if you’re being entertained by Martha or Oprah.

To provide further guidance, I turned to business etiquette consultant and pubic speaker extraordinaire Randi Freidig of Seattle (www.freidig.com), who filled in the details.

Question: Randi, why is this time of year so important to our careers and our jobs?

Answer: Unfortunately, some people have the tendency to let their guard down and get caught up in the merriment of the season. This is a time when we should take a firm hold of our personal responsibility to create positive impressions of ourselves with people at work.

It’s about knowing to closely watch the amount we drink and eat, that we do nothing to embarrass ourselves or others. It is not the time to flirt.

Approach each occasion with an upbeat attitude, keep your conversations civil and cordial (debating the war in Iraq will send all the good feelings out the door), and be mindful how you dress. Bare midriffs and exposed underwear will get you noticed in a very negative light.

Question: Am I obligated to bring a gift for the host, especially if the party’s at my boss’s house?

Answer: Not at all. Cut flowers create discord for your host, who must stop and place them in a vase. Most people really don’t need another bottle of wine at the holidays; besides your boss probably could buy the winery. You are, however, obligated to follow up with a warm, handwritten thank-you note or card, which will be remembered far longer than a little trinket or gift your host probably didn’t need.

Question: I tend to get overbooked at the holidays. Is there a tactful way of declining certain invitations?

Answer: You don’t have to attend every party you’re invited to, and you don’t have to provide a reason. But you must RSVP, matching the medium to which you were invited (e-mail to e-mail, note to note, phone call to phone call).

Question: What are some holiday party faux pas we might not even be aware we’re committing?

Answer: Jokes. People today are much more sensitive about things we used to joke about all the time: gender issues, marriage, religion, politics. The second is drinking. When people drink, their language slips and their intuition along with it. If you drink, remember to take 8 ounces of water between each cocktail; it speeds the metabolizing of the alcohol. Third is overeating. If you’re even a little hungry before the party, snack on some cheese to reduce your hunger.

Even though a party begins at 7, it’s no guarantee dinner will be served.

Question: I work with people I don’t know personally, customers, vendors and those who routinely help me in doing my job. Is it acceptable to give them cash as a gift?

Answer: That depends. For people in your own workplace whose supportive work you want to acknowledge, a gift card is more appropriate than cash. Be careful that the card can be used at a place that’s accessible to all: a grocery, movie theater or coffee shop that’s convenient. For an errand person, the doorman or delivery person, cash may be the easiest, but present it in a creative way: a holiday stocking stuffed with dollar bills and placed in a wrapped box, for instance.

Question: I’m a little short of cash; are homemade gifts appropriate?

Answer: Gifts you make yourself are always in good taste. But remember, in the workplace gifts over $25 are not necessary and can actually embarrass the recipient.

Question: Should I give my boss a holiday gift?

Answer: It all depends on the size and protocol of your office. If the boss gives gifts to employees, you may reciprocate, but keep it within a reasonable dollar amount. A holiday greeting card with a personal handwritten thank-you is very appropriate.

Write Eric Zoeckler c/o The Herald, P.O. Box 930, Everett, WA 98206 or e-mail mrscribe@aol.com.