In the first few minutes of “Night at the Museum,” a hockey puck collides with Ben Stiller’s head. That’s pretty much the way it goes: This is a hockey-puck movie, the kind of film that, when in need of an ending to a scene or a conversation, goes straight for the hockey puck (or equivalent slapstick device) to the head.
In other words, “Night at the Museum” is mostly geared for kids – although Stiller manages to get in a few signature riffs along the way.
It’s set in the Museum of Natural History in New York, where Stiller’s character gets a job as a night watchman. This museum is a wonder: full of dinosaur bones, models of Lewis and Clark, and African animals collected by Theodore Roosevelt.
It’s even more wondrous than we imagined, for, as Stiller discovers, the museum’s inhabitants come to life after dark. When it’s a statue of Roosevelt himself, this is pretty cool. On the other hand, the life-size Attila the Hun figure is a bit alarming when angry. Which he always is.
This set-up allows for a couple of standard Hollywood cliches to play out: The divorced Stiller can impress his disappointed son, and he can woo a museum scholar (Carla Gugino) who happens to be a knockout.
But these minor considerations are trampled by the film’s lust for broad, physical comedy and special effects. This is a “Jurassic Park” comedy, the problem being that digital dinosaurs aren’t funny.
Unless you’re six years old, in which case this movie will kill. Adults will have to settle for the spotty hilarity of Ben Stiller talking to a monkey (“There’s a storm coming”) and the amiable presence of boomer hero Dick Van Dyke. He plays the retiring security guard who gives Stiller rules for dealing with the night creatures.
There are random bits from comical people, such as Paul Rudd in a 30-second bit, Ricky Gervais improvising as the museum boss, and the indomitable, still-maniacal Mickey Rooney as another outgoing watchman. You also get Robin Williams as Teddy Roosevelt, which is strangely effective if not terribly funny.
But director Shawn Levy, who did the flabby “Pink Panther” remake, doesn’t build anything. Too much of the film is mired in the tiresome rivalry between a cowboy (Owen Wilson) and a Roman centurion (Steve Coogan), two members of the museum’s teeny-tiny dioramas. Few things are as painful as watching talented comic actors with zilch to do.
Unless it’s a hockey puck glancing off their heads.
A legion of Roman gladiators prepares to wage war on a museum security guard (Ben Stiller) in “Night at the Museum.”
Robin Williams is Teddy Roosevelt in “Night at the Museum.”
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