Avast, ye hearties, and — nope, it’s not even worth the effort to invoke a few nuggets of pirate lingo. The fourth movie in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” saga is here, and it feels like one voyage too many.
Actually, the previous film, a massive and complicated affair, was clearly an exampl
e of a mega-franchise gone wild. So give credit to “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” for trimming its sails and sticking to a more streamlined story.
Some characters return, but the plot of the earlier trilogy is over. Now we’ve got the ineffable Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp — who else?) embarking on a quest to find the Fountain of Youth.
Others are after the same goal. There’s old nemesis Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), now stumping around on a pegleg and sailing for the English crown; Sparrow’s former flame Angelica (Penelope Cruz), whose father just happens to be a supernaturally gifted buccaneer named Blackbeard (Ian McShane); and assorted Spaniards, mermaids and — why not? — zombies.
Rob Marshall, who directed “Chicago” and “Nine,” seems a bit miscast at the helm of an amusement-park movie like this. Previous director Gore Verbinski had a cartoonist’s eye for wacky set-pieces, where Marshall tends to plow ahead with faith in special effects (an overlong sequence involving the mermaids attacking sailors just keeps grinding on, for instance).
An exception is Sparrow’s early escape from English custody, which involves a few tricks that would not embarrass Errol Flynn. (And Richard Griffiths is briefly hilarious as corpulent King George.) But that’s the high point of the movie’s sense of play, and there are still two hours to go.
The film does have the advantage of keeping bejeweled, kohl-eyed Depp front and center; he’d gotten lost in the last “Pirates” picture. And, as expected, McShane brings low-voiced menace to Blackbeard, easily eclipsing Cruz’s efforts to stay in the same frame with him.
A handful of inside jokes brighten the scene, but “On Stranger Tides” stays safely within its boundaries as a colorful roller-coaster ride. Because it perks up for a few witty scenes at the end, that might be enough for ticket-buyers who already have the Jack Sparrow lunchbox. Otherwise, it just seems like a holding pattern for a billion-dollar business venture.
Will there be another one? The ending leaves little doubt about that. By the time this franchise ends, Depp may be as wrinkled and perma-tanned as his inspiration for the role, Keith Richards. Actually, that might be worth waiting around for.
“Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides”
The fourth installment of the mega-franchise blessedly simplifies the story line and keeps Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) front and center. Those are good things, but the movie itself feels a little tired of its own shtick and leading lady Penelope Cruz is easily overshadowed by villain Ian McShane.
Rated: PG-13 for violence
Showing: Alderwood mall, Cinebarre, Edmonds, Everett Stadium, Galaxy Monroe, Marysville, Stanwood, Meridian, Metro, Thorton Place, Woodinville, Blue Fox, Cascade Mall, Oar Harbor
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