Children may wake up to fewer presents under the tree this year. And some of their much coveted items may be missing.
Here’s how to prepare them for a more economical Christmas:
BE HONEST
Have an age-appropriate conversation with your children about your financial situation, said Bonnie Harris, author of “Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With.”
Teens can certainly understand financial difficulties and learn a valuable lesson, she said. Explain that until finances are more stable, spending on items that aren’t necessities will be tighter, she said.
For younger children, she suggests saying something along the lines of that the whole country — a big family — has to cut back so all the little families have to help out and spend less too. Even Santa has less.
Brenda Nixon, parenting speaker and author of “The Birth to Five Book: Confident Childrearing Right from the Start,” cautions against revealing too much detail. Be honest, be brief and keep it light, she said.
TAKE THEIR LISTS
Let your children put as much and whatever they want on their wish lists, Harris said.
Then as the holidays get closer, explain they need to pick four or five things from the list, she said. Ask them to write a couple of sentences telling you why that particular item is important.
DON’T LEAD THEM ON
If your children are not going to receive a much-coveted item, let them know that it’s very possible it won’t be under the tree, Harris said.
Beth Feldman, 39, founder of RoleMommy.com, told her children they wouldn’t be getting an iPod for Hanukkah last year. She advised them to save their allowance for it.
INVOLVE THEM
When you shop for other family members, take the kids with you, Harris said. Gift giving is a subtle way to teach them about money and spending.
Discuss what each person might like and how much money you have to spend on it.
DISAPPOINTMENT IS OK
If your children are disappointed with their presents or lack of, let them know that it’s normal and understandable, Harris said.
Don’t shame children for wanting things. It’s age appropriate for children to want what they want when they want it, she said.
She suggested something along the lines of, “You feel angry that you didn’t get what you wanted. I don’t blame you.”
Discuss what it feels like to be disappointed. Explain that sometimes anticipation is more exciting than getting the desired thing.
Don’t call them ungrateful; that will only heighten the child’s frustration, Koocher said.
WORST CASE
Avoid under-the-tree meltdowns by making sure you respond to disappointment.
If your child throws a tantrum, take her into another room lovingly — not harshly, Harris said. Wait until she has calmed down enough and say, “I’m here for a hug when you are ready.”
Give her comfort and reassurance; don’t make her feel guilty, she said.
DON’T CARRY GUILT
Finally, give yourself permission to have a financial setback, Nixon said. If you are feeling guilty or regretful, children are going to pick up on it, she said.
Remember there are things you can give them that costs nothing — your love and attention, Koocher said. And those are far more valuable.
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