Quick, cheap, delicious; must be Costco

There is no place in heaven or on earth where $20 can buy so many carbs, calories and guilty pleasures than the Costco food court.

Here’s what it bought me on a recent day: Chicken bake with cheese and bacon ($2.99). Beef brisket BBQ sandwich with cole slaw ($4.99). Slices of pepperoni pizza and combo pizza, ($1.99, each). Turkey &provolone sandwich ($3.99). Beef hot dog with 20-ounce soft drink ($1.50). Polish sausage with 20-ounce soft drink ($1.50). Churro ($1).

OMG! I can’t believe I ate the whole thing. The churro, that is. The other items I tested with reckless abandon.

I ordered every hot food item on the giant menu board with ravishing photographs of greasy goodness. After waiting in line for about 20 minutes and gazing at all that goodness, I had an insatiable appetite for more than a cult-status hot dog, which is what I usually get because I love the tiny chopped onions on the condiment bar. Hand-crank the dispenser and glistening gobs of onions pour out. (I confess: I’ve been known to fill my soda cup with chopped onions instead of pop … and based on online comments, there are shameless others sharing my Costco onion debauchery.)

Most Costco food courts are inside the store, which means you have to go through the exit door if you’re not a card-carrying member to partake in the cheap eats. The food court at the Everett Costco, 10200 19th Ave. SE, is outside. And it’s no longer cash-only: the food court recently started taking debit cards, Costco credit cards and American Express.

So, just find a parking place in the crowded lot, walk past the ducks, order up and waddle happily away.

That’s right, ducks come from a nearby pond. If I were a duck, it’s where I’d head. The cute ducks are well-behaved and add to the ambience of the dining experience at industrial picnic tables surrounded by giant shopping carts parked in random gridlock.

At the order window, most of the items are in heated trays, ready to go, so orders are filled fairly fast, even for customers like me who require a box to carry everything. Still, the line seems a long time to wait for, say, just a berry smoothie or sundae, like some people do.

The beef brisket sandwich was tangy and tasty. The crunchy cole slaw was a nice contrast to the soft bun and hot beef.

The turkey sandwich, served on a ciabatta roll with provolone, red onion, tomato and pesto, was a good mix of flavors.

The slice of pepperoni pie went to my son, a pizza freak.

“It was halfway between homemade and restaurant,” he said. “It felt like they grabbed a pizza off the Costco shelf and cooked it.”

It wasn’t a complaint, and it didn’t stop him from eating it.

My husband went hog wild and polished off both the beef dog and sausage dog. It made up for all the times he wanted a hot dog at Costco but was too impatient to wait in line.

The chicken bake got the nod from my Japanese daughter-in-law, who is selective about American food. The inside was soft and chewy, she said, and outside crunchy and cheesy.

She also liked the onions, even from a soda cup.

The fried pastry churro was worth the dough. I planned to eat a small piece but couldn’t stop.

I saw a lot of people buying berry smoothies that filled a clear plastic cup with an alluring shade of reddish-purple. It was tempting, but I resisted.

Oh, how I regret it. I’ve been fantasizing about berry smoothies since. I’m going back to get one. Now. I don’t care how long I have to wait in line. I’ll even skip stealing onions.

Andrea Brown: 425-339-3443; abrown@heraldnet.com. Twitter: @reporterbrown.

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