As Hollywood continues to polish up old exploitation horror titles from the ’70s and ’80s as deluxe remakes for the multiplex, I will repeat my complaint about the new versions of “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “The Hills Have Eyes”: Whatever power those originals had is lost with a big budget and glossy treatment.
Same goes for “The Last House on the Left,” this month’s horror entry.
Based on a notoriously inflammatory 1972 picture, this version cleans up the scuzziness of the original, and becomes just another bad movie.
The 1972 film launched the careers of director Wes “Nightmare on Elm Street” Craven and producer Sean “Friday the 13th” Cunningham. It unreeled two distinct sections of repellent violence: the first involving rape and murder, the second a no-holds-barred revenge.
Although various story particulars have shifted around (mostly to ludicrous effect), the shape of the movie stays the same. A teenager, Mari (Sara Paxton), accompanies her parents (Tony Goldwyn, Monica Potter) to the family’s summer home near a lake.
Turns out going along to score weed at the motel room of a creepy stranger isn’t the best idea in the world, and Mari and a friend soon find themselves in trouble with a junior version of the Manson family.
Director Dennis Iliadis applies a few arty touches, needlessly. He also photographs the two young women in an ickily voyeuristic way, and the fact that they both look younger than their real ages only adds to the general unpleasantness.
Garret Dillahunt plays the leader of the reprobates, and he is far too qualified to be in this role, based on his work in “Deadwood” and “No Country for Old Men.” Unfortunately, here he is.
Among the many complaints to make about this dumb movie is that almost nobody behaves as a normal person would. The revenge plot is the oldest one in the book, but you can’t even enjoy the movie on that kneejerk level, because everybody seems to be standing around stupefied all the time.
In a weird way, the degree of violence in the 1972 picture made sense; it was one of those periodic eruptions from the low-budget world that waved a warning flag from the culture. This “Last House” is a package, but instead of offering the popcorn silliness of many multiplex horrors, it is unusually ugly. Not to mention unnecessary.
“The Last House on the Left”
An ugly and stupid remake of the 1972 drive-in bloodbath, about two teenage girls who run afoul of a junior Manson family, and the revenge that follows. The gritty original is all cleaned up here, which somehow makes the feast of murder, rape and dismemberment all that much more repellent.
Rated: R for violence, nudity, language.
Showing: Alderwood Mall, Everett, Galaxy Monroe, Marysville, Stanwood, Meridian, Woodinville, Cascade Mall
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