Wood flooring for the cheap do-it-yourselfer

When your toes hit the floor first thing in the morning, what do you feel?

The stinky, hairy residue of nylon carpeting?

The refrigerator-cold feel of fake-wood laminate?

The warm, cozy smoothness of real wood flooring?

OK, so the last is covered in a polyurethane finish. It’s still a lot nicer to see if your toes are still there against a background of soothing wood rather than garish plastic. Of course, most people may as well pave their floors with Andrew Jackson’s dour mug as pay for a new wood floor.

But what if you could get that wood floor for a fraction of the cost of other flooring and still have it beautiful and durable? All you have to do is follow the motto CEAH – short for Cheat ‘Em and How.

Flooring manufacturers would have you believe that creativity is impossible in flooring and that their products are the only ones possible for a livable home. They spend the equivalent of the national debt each year to convince homeowners of this. Let’s be nice and just say that only part of that message is true.

If you examine the laminate materials that most flooring is made of, you will notice that the layers look surprisingly like plywood, with a thin top layer glued to an inner core. That’s because it is plywood. So why not just install plywood if it’s cheaper and the same thing?

Uh, well, uh, you can’t guarantee uniformity over the whole surface. It won’t all stain the same. It may not wear evenly. The sky may fall on it, leaving you with one heck of a cleanup mess. It can’t be guaranteed for 50 years. Given that most people live in a house for about five years, that last one is really important.

Here’s a simple way to install a gorgeous floor in your bedroom or even living room at about 20 percent of the cost of do-it-yourself production flooring.

First, go to the plywood section of a lumber store and study the laminate on cabinet-grade ACX. It’s smooth on one side and a bit rough on the other. You want a top layer about an eighth of an inch thick for maximum wear and durability. A hardwood such as birch or oak is better than a softwood surface. You also want a clear veneer free of those obnoxious patches that look like little footballs. That is, unless you really like football.

Choose the wood you like best. Birch is a good choice because it’s very light and stains evenly. Buy enough to cover the square footage of the room you are redoing, plus at least 10 percent more for error. Half-inch thickness will usually do if you are installing it over a solid subfloor. If the subfloor isn’t what it could be, three-quarter-inch plywood will add strength.

Stand this stuff on end in the garage while you carefully measure and prep the floor of the room you are reincarnating. Rip out all the old carpet or laminate flooring down to the subflooring and pull out any staples or nails left behind. The idea is to have a flat surface. Use floor leveler if necessary. The instructions are on the can.

Next, remove the shoe molding in the room, place the untreated plywood on the floor and number the pieces so you can get them back in the same order. Juggle them around to achieve a pattern that’s pleasing. As the manufacturers say, this stuff isn’t totally even. But it’s good enough.

Cut the end pieces to fit. For a more rustic look, flop the plywood over to the “C” side to expose the imperfections.

Haul all the plywood to the basement or garage and line it up on end. If it’s cabinet-grade plywood, it’s already sanded. But sand it anyway if it makes you feel better. After each sanding, be sure to wipe it with a tack cloth to pick up leftover residue. Apply a wood sealer to even out the pores, then stain it whatever color your hearts desires, or leave it legally blond.

Use the brush-on, wipe-off variety of stain, not the opaque gunk that congeals into something only The Blob would love. The more times you stain the plywood, the darker it gets. Stop when the wood grain pops out and says hello. Be sure to stain the edges as well; they will take more stain than the surface and darken. This is good.

Finally, get a good-quality polyurethane finish and apply it carefully, such as with a fine brush or a lamb’s-wool roller. Not all floor finishes are created equal. Shun the ones on the shelf at Hades Big Box Hardware and seek advice from a genuine flooring store. Buy a slow, air-drying finish, not the professional grades that require special expertise.

Apply at least three coats of the finish. Sand between coats with a fine-grain sandpaper. This is critical. The finish is so slick it has to have something to hang on to or it will lose its grip over time. Apply the top coat on the plywood edges as well. Be sure the surface is completely dry before applying another coat. Stir the finish regularly to mix the resins.

Finally, place the pieces on the floor of the room and attach permanently.

This can be tricky, because one person’s attachment is another’s divorce. For eternal permanence, glue the plywood to the subfloor for an inseparable bond. Should you want to pull it up again in the future, nail the edges down. As long as there is weight on the plywood, it is unlikely to buckle in the middle. If it does, nail the middle.

Of course, if you use nails, you will have holes to fill and patch. Try copper roofing nails instead. The heads will remain above the surface for an appealing riveted look.

There are different philosophies about filling in the gaps between the pieces of plywood. You can simply butt-end them and leave well enough alone, or use a filler for a more perfect look.

Some floorers would rather do the filling and staining after the pieces of plywood are attached to the floor. They’re the ones who enjoy a little midnight huffing of polyurethane fumes.

The floor is now done, cheap and easy. For high-traffic areas, keep adding a little high-traffic wax for a finish that will last a long time. Maybe not 50 years, but the world could end by then.

Jim Kjeldsen is a former assistant news editor at The Herald who now owns and operates La Conner Hardware Store in La Conner.