Just in case you’re thinking of surprising your family with a cute little cuddly puppy this holiday, I’m sharing my recent puppy experience.
Working as a writer full time has proved to have lonely moments. I reasoned that since I am working from home, a puppy and I could enjoy attention from each other. Too bad it can’t be trained to make lattes before the first morning walk.
The decision about getting a dog has been a series of long debates in our house. I am in the seventh year of my second marriage. For us, the dog will be our “love child.” Neither of us could remember thinking this hard about the four kids we had years ago.
Unlike a child, when you have a dog, you get an enormous menu of options. We were completely uncertain about big dog, little dog, shelter dog, new puppy, Craig’s list or someone we know?
Being home alone I wondered if having a protective Rottweiler would be the perfect companion. I thought of Carl from the “Good Dog, Carl” books and imagined an oversized lap dog cozied up with my teenagers.
Since I’m a bit of a hound myself, I got some Rottweiler books from the library. We checked the local shelter and much to our good fortune, it was full of Rottweilers. What a happy coincidence.
By page 3 of the Rottweiler book I felt a growing concern. The book explained that this dog needed very firm training. The book also warned against bringing a Rott into a home with teenagers. It explained how the dog could become aggressive and misunderstand some normal teen behavior.
I remembered how my daughters friends popped over one night at 11:30 p.m., banging on the back window just to scare my daughters. I could see how a Rott could misinterpret the situation. Visions of blood smeared across the windows.
I returned the library books on Rottweilers, explaining to the librarian that this was not the dog for us.
We then moved onto Havenese, a small docile dog. We visited a Havanese, and spoke to people who bred Havanese. This was almost the dog for us until I heard the price tag. Did I get that right, a mortgage payment?
Off we went to the animal shelters. Some trips were online and some visits were in person. Adoption fees were affordable and I was convinced our family was suited best to a toy breed.
In the fine print online it says the toy breeds are twice as much money to adopt and it’s a competition. My husband tried for one. A Chihuahua, Marti, at the Lynnwood shelter. My husband gave up his lunch break and waited at the shelter an hour before they opened. He had our application in hand. My daughter insisted he wear a tie and try to look as professional and impressive as possible. But we were not picked for Marti.
In fact, our family didn’t look too appealing to shelters for toy dogs because we had teenagers. We would be competing against single people who could provide a very secure home.
Kids and dogs seem to be a big deal. There’s a lot of concern about the fit between childlike behavior and a canine personality.
Once we saw Marti, we were smitten. We decided on a Chihuahua and read “Chihuahuas for Dummies” (yes, there is such a book).
It took a few more weeks to find the dog that was a fit with our budget and family. He is a puppy and he has traveled from Oklahoma. He only cost $50 more than the dog in the shelter. In today’s market, he was a bargain. It was competitive to get him too, but it turned out our teenage daughters worked in our favor. The breeder saw lots of lap potential in our home.
I’m sharing all this because my husband would have loved to put a tiny puppy in a gift box this holiday. He would have loved to surprise me with a Hanukkah puppy. And it’s not just cause I’m a control freak that I say this, I don’t think puppies make good surprises.
Every dog requires enormous attention to be a well-trained member of a household. And let’s face it, choosing a puppy is easy. Nothing but cute faces and pudgy bottoms. But puppyhood is over pretty fast, and you are really choosing an adult dog with a strong personality for 15 or more years. It’s no different than choosing a house or a major in college. If you think that’s overstated, you’re not ready for a dog.
We met some wonderful dogs in the shelter. The shelter staff knew more history than I expected on each of the dogs. If we were going for a big dog, we would have easily found a match. There were lots of big dogs in the shelters. Many of whom were once someone’s surprise on Christmas morning.
Sarri Gilman is a freelance writer living on Whidbey Island. Her column on living with meaning and purpose runs every other Tuesday in The Herald. She is a therapist, a wife and a mother, and has founded two nonprofit organizations to serve homeless children. You can e-mail her at features@heraldnet.com.
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