Edmonds cousin of 9/11 victim vows to never forget

Dennis Buckley. When Patricia Mackey read that name to a gathering of thousands in 2012, it was painful and personal.

Buckley was a 38-year-old husband and father of three little girls. He was a New York bond broker and trader. He had been a star lacrosse player at the University of Maryland.

For Mackey, who lives in Edmonds, Buckley was family. He was her first cousin, the son of her dad’s sister. The year she was 16, and Dennis was two years younger, she spent much of the summer with his family on New York’s Long Island.

“You knew he was going to do something big,” said Mackey, 55, who now treasures a family photo of Buckley.

She lost him Sept. 11, 2001. Buckley was a partner with Cantor Fitzgerald, a financial firm headquartered on the 101st through 105th floors of One World Trade Center, the North Tower. It was the first building slammed by a jetliner commandeered by terrorists that day.

“More than anything, as the years go by, I don’t want people to forget. This was a turning point in our country’s history, just as Pearl Harbor was,” Mackey said Friday.

In 2012, she had the overwhelming experience of being at the site of the National September 11 Memorial &Museum, built at ground zero, and reading the names of her cousin and 12 others killed in the attacks. The museum opened to the public in 2014, and Mackey went again that summer to see it.

She’ll never forget reading those names. There are nearly 3,000 of them. The annual ceremony takes nearly five hours. Readers stand in pairs, and Mackey’s partner was a young woman who lost her sister. Earlier in 2012, the Edmonds woman had registered as a 9/11 family member. Her invitation to read came from the memorial organization.

Mackey was nervous and in tears as she listened to the brief stories being shared by other name readers.

“When I got to the stage to read, they had big-screen TVs. I watched the children of 9/11 victims — they were babies when their loved ones were killed. Hearing these stories, I thought ‘Am I going to make it through this?’ I was crying my head off,” she said. Yet when her turn came, Mackey said she felt an incredible calm, “like Dennis was there with me.”

Her husband, John Mackey, was in the crowd. When she looked out at him she saw that her cousin’s sister, Jane Smithwick, was also there.

“My cousin’s sister had never been to ground zero. It was an incredible thing,” Mackey said. “My tears dried up and I knew I had a purpose — to convey not only a little about Dennis but a dozen amazing people.”

Researching the names she read, she learned that Capt. Kathy Mazza had been the first female commanding officer of the Port Authority Police Academy. Mackey also read names of people who had worked at Windows on the World, a restaurant atop the North Tower, and of others from Cantor Fitzgerald.

Her husband stood next to a woman whose husband, a 9/11 victim, had flown to New York the night before the attacks for just one meeting. “He was going to fly home the next afternoon,” said Mackey. “It was completely humbling to read their stories.”

Two years later, at the National September 11 Memorial &Museum, she again felt waves of emotion as she saw on the walls photographs of people whose names she read. At a long table with video screens, visitors learn more about each person who died. Mackey found pictures of Buckley she hadn’t seen before. The museum honors not only 9/11 victims, but six killed by a terrorist attack at the World Trade Center in 1993.

“It’s done incredibly well,” Mackey said. She was upset by one aspect of the museum, a space with pictures of the attackers. “I’m a Christian, but I can’t forgive them,” she said.

At home in Edmonds, Mackey has a studio where she makes earrings, necklaces and bracelets. Her business is called Tippy Stockton Jewelry. Like her home, the studio shows Mackey’s flair for decor. There are messages on her work table and studio walls, “Don’t Postpone Joy,” and “Live the Life You’ve Imagined.”

On her kitchen table is a reminder of her family’s grief, a book titled “No Day Shall Erase You: The Story of 9/11 as told at the National September 11 Memorial Museum.”

Mackey knows her grief pales compared with the loss experienced by Buckley’s immediate family. In Chatham, New Jersey, his widow Kathy Buckley raised their three daughters on her own. MaryKate, Megan and Michele Buckley were ages 6, 4 and 20 months old when their father died.

“My cousin’s children — two are in college and one in high school — have turned into absolutely beautiful young ladies. I’m so proud of them, and so proud of their mom,” Mackey said. “These girls are a testament to Dennis and his legacy.”

Fifteen years ago, Mackey turned on her TV to see a living nightmare. Today, she is adamant that the world must remember 9/11 forever, and all those precious lives lost. “My dying wish is that everyone doesn’t forget as the years go on,” she said.

Mackey hopes to someday share her cousin’s story with school groups. She also wants to again read names at a 9/11 ceremony, as she did in 2012. That, too, was a day not to be forgotten.

“I was standing there with all this amazing grief, but also a vision of hope,” Mackey said. “This country is going to go on. These families have found a way to go on.”

Julie Muhlstein: 425-339-3460; jmuhlstein@heraldnet.com.

Learn more

Find out about the National September 11 Memorial &Museum: www.911memorial.org/

For information about the September 11th Families’ Association or to donate to the nonprofit: http://911families.org/