Hello? Hello? I can’t find you.
I can’t blame those of you who have dumped land telephone lines and are going solo on cell phones. The trouble is, there is no cell phone book. When I need to reach you, how am I supposed to find you? I know your cell phone is tucked close to your ear, but that does me no good.
I miss the old days, when folks were all listed alphabetically in the big yellow book. I could open a page, find you and dial your house. Unless you had an unlisted number, most of you would answer with a happy, “Hello,” field my questions, we would exchange pleasantries, and our business would be efficiently completed.
Now, unless you call me, we’re strangers. I can’t blame you. The only reason we have a land line at our house is because of our computer connection. My sister, Vicki Loiseau, notified everyone years ago that to reach her or her husband, Leri, we would have to dial their cell phone numbers. Sneakily, they still had a land line, but it was incommunicado to us.
“In Seattle, we never dropped our land line, as we used it for our Internet connection and our digital cable,” Vicki said. “We did change our phone number and then never gave it to anyone or used it for anything. That way, we stopped getting all the phone solicitations.”
She said they used cell phones and avoided all telemarketing calls. Now that they’ve retired in Ellensburg, she said, they don’t each need a cell phone. And I was surprised to learn they got a land line in Eastern Washington.
“It’s cheap, and I get tired of talking on the cell phones because of the way they are designed,” Vicki said. “It feels like you have to yell into them so the other person can hear. I prefer to talk on our land line.”
After we talked via her comfy phone, she went outside to build a snow fort. Life is rough for folks in their mid-50s retired in Ellensburg, but I digress.
There are some online sites that advertise they can find cell phone numbers, but they cost money.
I want a nice big yellow book on my desk with cell and regular phone listings. Maybe I should go into the business myself using my extreme financial savvy. Last year, before her trial, I bought Martha Stewart stock for $9 a share. My son, Brody, who has a noggin for numbers, thought his mother was a loony bird. The Martha stock had dropped from $21 a share down to $9, but I was sure we would give Martha the American treatment.
In this fine country, we build up celebrities, tear them down, then build them up again.
You watch, Britney Spears will re-emerge to find fervent admiration. Go, Britney.
When Martha stock hit $17 a share, I felt that almost doubling my dough was good enough, and I sold out. This week, after the announcement she is going to be doing an “Apprentice”-type show on TV when she gets out of the joint, her stock flew into the high $30s.
Oh well, having no investment money to go into the cell phone book business pleases my sister.
“We have heard of a movement to get cell phones into a directory, and I’ll tell you that neither one of us are in favor of it,” Vicki said. “For some reason, we feel in control of who can call us, and that is a nice feeling. If there was a directory, we would just pay for the unpublished number routine.”
She said she could see my point about losing touch with folks, but thinks phone solicitors have ruined the basic telephone experience. True, telemarketing calls are a pain, but I would still like a cell phone book to do my job.
If someone runs with my idea, I’ll want stock.
Columnist Kristi O’Harran: 425-339-3451 or oharran@heraldnet.com.
Talk to us
> Give us your news tips.
> Send us a letter to the editor.
> More Herald contact information.
