Get out if you can. Think about that.

Roxie Hoven, fund development director for the center, said staff members have attended funerals for those they recognize as former shelter residents. The center offers battered women the only comprehensive services to survivors of domestic violence in Snohomish County.

Among their resources are a 15-bed emergency shelter and nine transitional apartments.

The Center for Battered Women worked with more than 5,000 women through its 24-hour crisis line, legal aid and support groups. If you need to call the crisis hotline, phone 425-25-ABUSE.

Use that number if you are in trouble. It’s staffed by women at the shelter. Center for Battered Women volunteer Roxanne Harwood said battered women need help from all of us just to survive.

"So often I hear people ask, ‘Why do they stay?’ " Harwood said. "So often I weep, because where can they go? How can they get there?"

Some women at the shelter can’t keep their jobs, have to move out of state, dye their hair, change their names and rip children from their schools and buddies. You don’t go back to the same church, and you lose touch with family doctors and may spend your life looking over your shoulder in fear.

What can you do to help?

You knew I would get around to letting you know.

Buy tickets for a chocolate lover’s auction, "The Art of Survival," planned for 6 p.m. Nov. 7 at Howard Johnson’s Plaza Hotel in Everett. Tickets, $35, include dinner. It’s the center ‘s primary fund-raiser each year and supplements operating income from Snohomish County, grants and agencies such as United Way. For more information, call 425-259-2827.

Victims of domestic violence can stay at the shelter for 30 days. A secret hotel plans to offer a reduced rate for overnight stays for battered women.

"One night can save your life," Hoven said.

Hoven was raised in a small town in Alabama. After 10 years as a submarine hunter in the U.S. Navy, she returned to civilian life in 1995. She has since worked to raise awareness about the devastating impact of domestic violence. She said she appreciates community support such as the van that Dwayne Lane provides once a month so children can be taken out for fun, such as a trip to a pumpkin patch.

Before admittance to the safe place, women are screened via the crisis line. Police often slip the emergency number to women they encounter on domestic violence calls. Women fleeing to the shelter are met at a public place, then taken to safety.

It sounds like a bad movie, but it’s real life.

Hoven said they try to track where former shelter residents end up, but they don’t find out where everyone lands. Some go back to their homes. Some disappear. There is only enough transitional housing for a handful of battered women.

While we talked, I noticed a magnet on Hoven’s file cabinet reading "Imagine life without violence."

I can.

Buy a ticket for those who can’t.

Kristi O’Harran’s Column appears Tuesdays and Fridays. If you have an idea for her, call 425-339-3451 or send information to oharran@heraldnet.com.