EVERETT — Nolan Donnelly taught himself to speak Japanese. He learned computer programming from library books.

He stacked his clothes neatly in the small room he shared with his brother, kept two lint brushes on his desk and organized all his personal papers in a red plastic folder. The eldest of eight children, he was shy and blushed at the mention of girls.

Nolan, 21,was not the kind of guy who raced through life, said his parents, Kevin and Carolyn Donnelly.

"It took one wrong decision, one wrong choice to kill him," Kevin Donnelly said. "I only hope people will think of Nolan and let up on the accelerator just a bit."

Nolan died Monday morning at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle after his parents asked doctors to remove him from life support. He suffered massive head injuries when he lost control of his car and smashed head-on into an oncoming pickup on Cathcart Way a week ago.

The pickup driver, Marlin "Duke" French, 60, also was seriously injured and remains at Harborview in critical condition, his wife, Sharon, said Thursday.

The Snohomish County Sheriff’s Office has said Nolan was racing with a friend before the crash.

The second man, 20, a friend of Nolan’s, had dropped back and didn’t witness the crash but still could face possible criminal charges for his part in the accident, sheriff’s spokeswoman Jan Jorgensen said.

Nolan’s parents don’t believe the men were racing. They made their son wait until he was 18 to get his driver’s license, and he didn’t drive much until he bought his Honda Civic in August.

"(His friend) wouldn’t race Nolan. He knew Nolan was a new driver. He knew it would be out of character for Nolan," Carolyn Donnelly said. "If there was racing going on, it was only in the mind of Nolan."

The other man declined an interview with The Herald. He has told the Donnellys that Nolan was following him to his house in the Silver Firs area. The childhood friends often went to each other’s houses to play video games or watch movies.

The men passed a car on the four-lane road, and then Nolan sped past his friend, who lost sight of him around a curve. The man told the Donnellys that he was going to turn off to go home but got a "bad" feeling and continued down the road. He saw the wrecked truck, went to comfort the driver and called 911.

He then spotted his friend and what was left of his car. He told the Donnellys his first instinct was not to approach Nolan and just to wait for the paramedics.

"But he stayed with him. He talked to him," Kevin Donnelly said. "We’re so thankful he was there. I couldn’t imagine Nolan in the dark dying by himself."

The man told the Donnellys that Nolan kept muttering, "I hurt. I hurt. I screwed up. I screwed up." It was the last time he spoke.

Carolyn Donnelly was awake at home around the time of the accident. She lay in bed, unable to sleep. Nolan was on her mind. She felt moved to pray for him. She asked God to speak to Nolan and draw her son to him, she said.

About an hour later, their 19-year-old son awakened his parents. He was on the phone with Nolan’s friend, who said there had been an accident and they had to go to Harborview.

Half asleep and in shock, the couple scrambled to find directions to the hospital, then drove around lost in the dark in downtown Seattle.

They eventually made it to the hospital, arriving before the medical helicopter. Hospital officials tried to prepare them for what was to come.

Nolan’s face was covered with bandages, and his skin was scarlet, his mom said.

"He was broken," Carolyn Donnelly said.

It became evident Sunday that Nolan’s condition was not improving. The couple agreed to donate their son’s liver and kidneys should he die.

"It was so hard to see him broken, but we had time to talk to him, kiss him, pray over him and say goodbye," his mother said. "I’m so thankful for that time."

A family friend was standing by Nolan’s side when he died. TheDonnellys were unable to watch their son take his last breath.

Now they pray for Marlin French, a father and grandfather who was on his way home from work.

"Nolan was in the wrong ,and that hurts," his mother said. "If it had the same ending without another vehicle involved, another person hurt, it would feel better."

The Donnellys thought they had prepared their son to be a responsible driver. His father spent hours teaching Nolan to drive. He completed driver’s education classes but waited another year to get his license.

He worked at the Silver Lake Costco for more than a year to save money to buy a car. After that, his parents noticed that Nolan was spending less time in his bedroom on his computer, was gaining more confidence and making friends.

"He was blossoming," his mother said.

He talked to his parents on the day before the accident about going to college now that he had a job and car.

"We were never concerned about how this boy was going to make it in life," his mother said.

But their son made one wrong choice.

Friends have told the Donnellys that Nolan mentioned recently that he’d like to see how fast the car could go.

"He probably saw that section of road at that time of night and thought it would be a safe place to just see what it feels like," his mother tried to reason.

"It only takes one choice," she said. "Sometimes you don’t get a second chance."

Since the crash, the Donnellys hear every wailing siren and every screeching tire. The sounds remind them of what they’ve lost.

Marlin French’s wife, Sharon, said she isn’t angry with Nolan Donnelly.

She prays for his parents. She understands their loss. She and her husband made the agonizing decision to take their 10-year-old daughter off life support after a car accident left her with serious brain injuries more than two decades ago.

"I know what the family is going through," she said. "You don’t ever get over it."

Reporter Diana Hefley: 425-339-3463 or hefley@heraldnet.com.