LYNNWOOD – Raising three children, ages 8, 11 and 13, isn’t always smooth going.
“You get new challenges daily,” said Tina Lamb, sitting in a school library alongside her husband, Brian.
The couple came to Hazelwood Elementary School this week for another round of parenting classes that tap curriculum from the Colorado-based Love and Logic Institute.
Lessons touch on how to raise children who can take responsibility for their actions. It’s about letting go of the tendency to hover or shout, and helping guide kids to fix their own mistakes.
“I was running out of ideas,” Lamb said with a laugh. “And you know with parenting, you can always use help.”
Schools are increasingly offering workshops and seminars for moms and dads on how to be better parents – or at least better understand what it’s like to be a kid today.
Events range from informal roundtables with school staff to six-week seminars with workbooks and registration fees, like at Hazelwood.
“Parents are crying out for help,” Hazelwood Principal Tim Parnell said. “The things that their parents did with them aren’t always working – and the kids didn’t come with owners manuals.”
Examples of other events across the county:
* Olympic View Middle School in Mukilteo at the start of each school year provides parents with a list of possible topics, such as cyberbullying, school violence and attitudes. The top vote-getters are then turned into monthly workshops. From 30 to 60 parents typically attend.
* Explorer Middle School in south Everett offers parenting classes to Spanish-speaking families. The group meets once a week for a month.
* Parents at Cascade and Henry M. Jackson high schools partner to offer monthly workshops on such topics as drug prevention, Internet safety, underage drinking and “How to Handle the Problematic Teen.”
* Post and Haller middle schools in Arlington have Youth Suicide Prevention Program workshops.
Schools, where children spend the majority of their weekdays, have become a natural source for the help.
“For many kids, school is the place they do feel limits, predictability, regular meals,” said Annie Rueda-Brown, a school psychologist at Woodway Elementary School. “Coming to school is sometimes more comfortable than being at home.”
Lyn Lauzon helped start the monthly forums at Cascade High School in Everett as a parent. Now a drug and alcohol counselor at Jackson High School in Mill Creek, she’s continuing the program with help from PTA members at both schools.
“I felt like a lot of parents were not even in touch with what was happening, what the kids were experiencing at school. You know, drinking, depression, suicide, drugs, eating disorders – these are all the things that are happening at school,” she said.
More than anything, the classes and workshops are about bringing together adults who care about children, said Nancy Coogan, principal at Olympic View Middle School.
“I think that as parents, we all have the same concerns – that our kids are safe, that we’re aware of what’s going on, who their friends are,” Coogan said.
The goal is not to point fingers or give prescriptive advice, she said.
Schools may be offering the help, but finding parents to show up is often the tougher task.
Cascade and Jackson’s programs offer a free dinner – and still struggle to get people to show up, Lauzon said.
The Arlington School District last year teamed with the United Way’s Success by Six program for a free class focusing on the challenges parents face over the summer months.
“We even offered child care, and the meeting still wasn’t well attended,” said Misti Gilman, a spokeswoman.
The seminar at Hazelwood is among the exceptions, drawing more than 30 parents each fall and for shorter one-day events later in the school year.
At a recent meeting, parents gathered around tables to share success stories, frustrations and questions. It looked more like a support group than a lecture.
Laurel Soden said the lessons have helped her and her husband, Galen Wahlmeier, better manage the hectic life that surrounds raising their two children, ages 10 and 12.
“I think it’s a product of ‘society today.’ We’re just so busy,” Soden said.
Reporter Melissa Slager: 425-339-3465 or mslager@heraldnet.com.
Coming classes
Two local school districts will have classes for parents this week about the warning signs of depression and suicide in children.
Everett School District: 7 p.m. Monday: “Depression and Suicide Prevention,” Henry M. Jackson High School library, 1508 136th St. SE, Mill Creek. Light dinner at 6:30 p.m. Free.
Arlington School District: 7 p.m. Thursday: “Understanding Teen Depression and Suicide,” presented by the Youth Suicide Prevention Program and sponsored by the Post and Haller middle school counseling staff. Post Middle School library, 1220 E. Fifth St., Arlington.
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