Slide victim’s wife remembers the love of her life

OSO — Debbie Durnell was terrified to step out onto a dance floor in Everett.

The style was country swing, the Texas two step. “I’d never seen dancing like that before,” she said.

During the first song, she said she mostly just looked down, watching and trying to match the steps of her dance partner, Tom Durnell.

Later, he invited her to dance again. “Don’t look at my feet,” he told her. “Look at my eyes.”

As the music played and she followed his advice, she had a nearly inexplicable reaction. “I knew by that second dance … I had finally met the love of my life.”

Before the evening was over, she left her name and phone number for the bartender to give to him. She laughed as she recently told the story, reflecting on her spur-of-the-moment decision. “I never did anything like that in my life,” she said.

Once they met again, they quickly became a couple and never again spent a weekend apart over the next eight years.

They married in 2010, just after Tom retired from his work as a carpenter, and soon bought a home on Steelhead Drive.

“We were both so excited to buy a house,” she said. “That was the first home we ever bought.”

The house came with a three-car garage, but that use was short-lived. It soon turned into her husband’s woodworking shop.

“His work was perfect,” she said. “You never found a flaw in anything he made.”

Durnell, 65, had nearly finished library shelves for their home, hand-milled from cherry wood, when the March 22 Oso mudslide took his life. “It was the first time he got to do something like that in his own home,” she said.

Her husband was a man of diverse interests. His love of opera could find him listening to that music, such as Verdi’s “La Traviata,” for hours.

His collection of more than 10,000 recorded songs spanned the genres of rock, jazz, opera and country — most especially classic country tunes such as those of Bob Wells and the Texas Playboys.

“He was always learning more about music; he loved learning the history of music,” his wife said.

He made annual trips to Eastern Oregon for more than two decades to take in the Pendleton Roundup. “He loved watching rodeo as much as most guys love watching football,” she said. “He knew all the top-ranked cowboys.”

He didn’t do particularly well in school because of problems with attention disorder, hyperactivity and even a streak of mischievousness.

Instead, he became an autodidact, using his intense interest in reading to educate himself.

“He was really smart,” his wife said. “That was my first attraction to him. He had such a huge vocabulary. I never had to look anything up in the dictionary.”

Tom Durnell grew up in Eugene, Ore., and attended Lane Community College, where he studied theater design. He left college for his “dream job” in Ashland at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival in the 1970s. His various roles included work as assistant stage manager and a tumbling assistant for the production of “The Taming of the Shrew.” He began his carpentry career there building sets.

“That was one of the proudest moments of his career,” Debbie Durnell said. “He loved the arts, not only theater.”

This year, he had purchased tickets for the festival — the first time they were to attend together.

Later in his career, Tom Durnell worked for theaters in Minneapolis and Seattle, as well as the scene shop at KCTS-TV, Seattle’s public station.

His work as a carpenter spanned nearly 20 years. Durnell was a master who took joy in making handmade wooden bowls, jewelry boxes and other woodwork for family and friends, his wife said.

While traveling through eastern Snohomish County three decades ago, he decided it was the place to retire.

The day of the mudslide, Debbie Durnell, 50, a certified nursing assistant at Providence Regional Medical Center Everett, was at work. She lost not only her husband but her home, virtually all her belongings and several friends.

Last month, she filed claims against Snohomish County and the state of Washington. The claims seek a total of $3.5 million from the county and state, the first of five damage claims against area governments in the mudslide’s aftermath.

The landslide was so powerful that it carried debris across the valley and part way up the other side, roughly a mile away.

Amid all the dirt and debris were two photos from the Durnells’ home, which were found miraculously undamaged. They show him riding a horse at a friend’s house in Idaho.

“It’s precious to me, the only pictures I’ve gotten back,” his wife said.

“They found them like it was just taken out of a drawer. They weren’t even wet.”

One of the most endearing memories of their relationship was how easy their conversations where.

“We loved each other deeply and were each other’s best friends,” she said. “We knew that we had a love that would last forever, and for me it will.

“I have absolutely no regrets, other than we didn’t get enough time together. We had so many plans, things we wanted to do. It just wasn’t long enough.”

Sharon Salyer: 425-339-3486; salyer@heraldnet.com.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Local News

Edmonds Mayor Mike Rosen goes through an informational slideshow about the current budget situation in Edmonds during a roundtable event at the Edmonds Waterfront Center on Monday, April 7, 2025 in Edmonds, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Edmonds mayor recommends $19M levy lid lift for November

The city’s biennial budget assumed a $6 million levy lid lift. The final levy amount is up to the City Council.

Community members gather for the dedication of the Oso Landslide Memorial following the ten-year remembrance of the slide on Friday, March 22, 2024, at the Oso Landslide Memorial in Oso, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
The Daily Herald garners 6 awards from regional journalism competition

The awards recognize the best in journalism from media outlets across Alaska, Idaho, Montana, Oregon and Washington.

A firefighting helicopter carries a bucket of water from a nearby river to the Bolt Creek Fire on Saturday, Sep. 10, 2022, on U.S. 2 near Index, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
How Snohomish County property owners can prepare for wildfire season

Clean your roofs, gutters and flammable material while completing a 5-foot-buffer around your house.

(City of Everett)
Everett’s possible new stadium has a possible price tag

City staff said a stadium could be built for $82 million, lower than previous estimates. Bonds and private investment would pay for most of it.

Jennifer Humelo, right, hugs Art Cass outside of Full Life Care Snohomish County on Wednesday, May 28, 2025 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
‘I’ll lose everything’: Snohomish County’s only adult day health center to close

Full Life Care in Everett, which supports adults with disabilities, will shut its doors July 19 due to state funding challenges.

The age of bridge 503 that spans Swamp Creek can be seen in its timber supports and metal pipes on Wednesday, May 15, 2024, in Lynnwood, Washington. The bridge is set to be replaced by the county in 2025. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Snohomish County report: 10 bridges set for repairs, replacement

An annual report the county released May 22 details the condition of local bridges and future maintenance they may require.

The Edmonds City Council gathers to discuss annexing into South County Fire on Tuesday, Dec. 3, 2024 in Edmonds, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Community group presents vision for Edmonds’ fiscal future

Members from Keep Edmonds Vibrant suggested the council focus on revenue generation and a levy lid lift to address its budget crisis.

x
Edmonds seeks applicants for planning board alternate

The member would attend and participate in meetings and vote when another member is absent. Applications close June 25.

People walk during low tide at Picnic Point Park on Sunday, March 3, 2024 in Edmonds, Washington. (Annie Barker / The Herald)
Beach cleanup planned for Picnic Point in Edmonds

Snohomish Marine Resources Committee and Washington State University Beach Watchers host volunteer event at Picnic Point.

Logo for news use featuring the municipality of Stanwood in Snohomish County, Washington. 220118
Stanwood man accused of crashing into 2 vehicles, injuring federal agents

Victor Vivanco-Reyes appeared in federal court Monday on two counts of assaulting a federal agent with a deadly weapon.

Snohomish County Health Department Director Dennis Worsham on Tuesday, June 11, 2024 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Snohomish County Health Department director tapped as WA health secretary

Dennis Worsham became the first director of the county health department in January 2023. His last day will be July 3.

Bar manager Faith Britton pours a beer for a customer at the Madison Avenue Pub in Everett. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Burgers, brews and blues: Madison Avenue Pub has it all

Enjoy half-price burgers on Tuesday, prime rib specials and live music at the Everett mainstay.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.