There they are on the cover of Newsweek magazine, Ross and Rachel, Chandler and Monica, Joey and Phoebe. Nine years after the debut of "Friends," the NBC sitcom characters are still sparkling, attractive and young.
They embody what I think of when I hear the word "single."
But wait. Here’s a new issue of AARP magazine, with a cover story on "The 50-plus dating game."
Despite ubiquitous pictures of young "Friends," a formidable number of singles are old enough to be grandparents. According to the Census Bureau, of the 97 million Americans 45 or older, almost 40 percent — 36.2 million — are single.
I tracked down the AARP magazine after reading a front-page article in Monday’s Herald. It reported the results of a survey of single men and women ages 40 to 69. The headline? "Survey finds more American women dating younger men."
If you got past the predictable first paragraph about 40-year-old Demi Moore cozying up to 20-something actor Ashton Kutcher, you learn that nearly a third of women who date are seeing men at least a few years younger. Yet, the majority of women said they’d prefer men the same age or older.
It would hardly be news to highlight what men in the survey of 3,500 people said about age. Sixty-six percent are dating younger women, and a whopping 80 percent of men said they preferred their dating partners to be younger.
Who can blame anyone for wanting to turn back the clock?
Still, it’s chilling for a woman of a certain age to know that if she’s seeing someone her own age, there’s an 80 percent chance he’d prefer someone else — someone younger.
Jeez, is that true? Kind of makes a person want to whine like a 6-year-old, "That’s not fai-rrr." And hey, I’ve been to my 30th high school reunion. I honestly thought most of the women had aged better than most of the men.
Here’s one more sorry personal detail, then I’ll let others do the talking. You know what just arrived in my mail? A pitch for membership in AARP, the "nonprofit, nonpartisan organization that welcomes everyone 50 and over." I should send it back with a nasty note; my birthday isn’t for three weeks.
Sandy Heinz, 48, has found friends, but no Mr. Right, through Mukilteo Singles, a social group for unmarried people 40 and older. The group meets for breakfast at 10 a.m. each Saturday at the 112th Street Diner on Evergreen Way in Everett, and on Tuesdays for dinner at area restaurants.
Divorced in 2000, the Everett woman has tried meeting people on the Internet, through the Parents Without Partners organization and with Events &Adventures, a singles club requiring paid membership.
"I have dated a little, but not very much," said Heinz, whose ex-husband married a woman in her 30s. Her three grown daughters, she said, "would like me to find somebody."
"One time my middle daughter joked that I need a rich man. I just want somebody who is stable and has a job," Heinz said.
Although she’s seen love blossom for others through Mukilteo Singles, "overall, we’re just a friendly group. We talk about anything and everything."
Janet Arthur of Mountlake Terrace said friendship and the chance to get out keeps her involved in the Singletonians, which plans trips, theater outings, card games and other activities for singles 50 and older.
"It’s not a matchmaking service," Arthur said.
When we talked Friday, she was going with the group that night to see the Driftwood Players production of "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" in Edmonds.
Now in her 60s, Arthur didn’t go out at all from the time she was divorced at 24 until her children were raised in her 40s. She joined the Singletonians in the 1980s. She later met and eventually married a widowed man. He died this year.
"I was not looking for someone, he found me. I was having a get-acquainted coffee for the Singletonians," she said. "We were together 18 years. We had a lot of good times."
Retired from Boeing and still involved with the social group, Arthur also attends daily Mass at St. Piux X Church in Mountlake Terrace.
"I think the worst thing in the whole world is not getting out and doing things," she said.
Heinz is grateful for the friendship she has found through Mukilteo Singles. She’s not holding her breath for romance.
Something tells me her experience is far more typical of single life than any "Friends" episode.
"If it happens, it happens, but I don’t know if it ever will," she said. "I do kind of feel like I’ll spend the rest of my life by myself."
Columnist Julie Muhlstein: 425-339-3460 or muhlsteinjulie@heraldnet.com.
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