The tears and the fears

Herald staff

Events of the past week hit each of us in a different way. Some of us cried. Some got angry.

Some stared silently at television. Some struggled to make new plans to get teen-agers off to college. Others expressed frustration at a lack of control over their lives.

To find out how the tragedy is affecting people’s lives, Herald reporters and photographers fanned out across Snohomish and Island counties to ask people what they were feeling — about our country, their lives and the future.

Here is what they said. On Pages B1 and B3, photos demonstrate how their emotions played out.

Arlington

Debbie Hackworth, 38, Intermec Technologies materials analyst, Arlington: "What happened on Tuesday was a heartless act of terrorism, to try and break the indomitable American spirit. They missed their mark, as they haven’t seen nothing yet! It is only the beginning."

Bothell

Dick Doughty, 63, college administrator, Bothell: "As a Peace Corps member in Indonesia in the months leading up to the violent Suharto coup, and as an active participant in the civil rights and anti-war movements, I am no stranger to passionate causes. None of this prepared me for the sheer evil and horror of last Tuesday’s acts."

Camano Island

Dan Stallings, 70, grocery store employee, Camano Island: "It’s hard to say, it’s just so incomprehensible. I can’t take it all in; I feel a great deal of sadness that this kind of thing happens in the world. It’s just so hideous. I’ve never suffered from depression … but I feel that’s the way I’m going. The sad part is, this will have changed our country forever."

Terry Engelhart, 41, bookkeeper, Camano Island: "I think I’ll be more wary of people in the future. And I’m afraid for my kids."

Kathryn Larson, 52, Avon lady, Camano Island: "I’m going to pray more. My son just enlisted in the Army a week before this happened, and his young bride and I are scared he may have to go to war."

Edmonds

Todd Thoroughman, a young Edmonds attorney: "It makes me appreciate my own life. Most of all, I feel sorry for the children of the people who perished in the building."

Brittany Schuster, 15, Everett High School student: "If we’re going into war, (my life will) change drastically. What is there to say? On Oct. 7, I’ll turn 16 and I’ll donate blood."

Hollie Allen, 45, special education teacher: "I know that every time I see a fireman, a firetruck, an aid car, a policeman, the immediate reminder that will flash into my mind is the sacrifice and the laying down of their lives, literally, to rescue a human being."

Shaun Heilman, 16, Everett High School student: "Every time I see somebody who works for our government and our cities, I’m going to totally appreciate everything they do to help out our communities."

Genio Koonce, 73, novelist: This attack in New York will not change my way of doing things. Those b———- who did this will not succeed in destroying our way of life. "

Carol Edgar, 57, United Airlines flight attendant from 1965 to 1984: "It’s just very frightening. I know we’re going to go with more and more and more security. … I think of all my fellow flight attendants having to go up every day, having that feeling. We always had it."

Dave Smith, 44, construction worker and father of two Everett High School students, ages 15 and 17: "I think it will change everybody’s lives, with longer lines, more security. People will be scared to travel anywhere."

Angela Blas, 34, mother of 5- and 7-year-old sons: "I feel much more vulnerable. Violence has been brought into my backyard. … I’ve struggled with feelings of anger, both at my fellow man and my God for allowing this to happen. Today on the news, one of the clergymen said anger is essentially disappointed love. I like to think of it that way. The anger feeling isn’t indicative of deep anger, but more of a deep disappointment in fellow man."

Dawna Cynkar, 33, a homemaker attending a candlelight vigil: "It’s great for these children to know that we bond together. It’s real upsetting to see (Palestinian) children that think war and killing isn’t bad."

Barbara Moore, 62, trial coordinator for Snohomish County Superior Court: "I’m much more afraid, not so much for myself but for my grandchildren. … My world is just upside down. Everybody’s is. I’m determined, though, to live each day to its fullest, because I might not be here tomorrow."

Chris Yue, 42, legal assistant, Everett: "I’ve definitely learned to take a lot less for granted, to be much more seriously reminded of the fragile nature of our existence."

Lake Stevens

Jamie Rasner, 16, Lake Stevens High School junior: "I was really comfortable with my surroundings, but now I’m kind of paranoid. … It really made me value family and life."

Brandon Jones, 17, Lake Stevens High School senior: "It’s going to make me not want to travel on planes. I will probably drive more after this than fly."

Lakewood

Jason Rager, 16, Lakewood High School student: "It makes you appreciate things a lot more. I never thought it could happen, and it did. It all takes an effect, and you make sure you say your good-byes."

Lynnwood

Andrew Kovach, 83, Iwo Jima survivor, Lynnwood: "I’m hoping our president can really show himself off if he takes some action against those people. Do it now."

Patti Wright, 30, inside sales: "I’ve never felt so patriotic in my life. About 12 years ago, my grandma told me that the United States is the most wonderful country in the world. I didn’t know exactly what she meant until Tuesday."

Nasser, 41, a board member of Dar Alarqam Mosque: "Anything might happen. You never say, ‘That can’t happen.’ … We expect anything might happen in this world after what we have seen Tuesday."

Robert Castle, 45, a Snohomish County Jail inmate whose work-release sentence involves landscaping outside the county courthouse in Everett: "You sit around buildings like this and wonder, ‘What could happen?’"

Phyllis Dana, 84, who as a Navy nurse treated Pearl Harbor victims: "This is one of the most dastardly things I’ve ever heard of. When we went into the Navy, we expected there would be battle casualties. Those people in New York were not trained for any of this."

Earl Williams, 83, retired from real estate sales: "My first reaction is selfish, that there is no Mariners baseball. But seriously, I was in the Philippines after Pearl Harbor in World War II. Then, we knew who our enemies were. This is a different situation. It’s not us vs. another county. It’s the U.S. against some idiots. This will hopefully change our government leaders and make them stick together."

Tim Kratz, 40, Boeing employee: "I will be more cautious, and I hope the nation will be, too. This is a testing of the heart, to see where your standards are in life, your motives and values. Maybe we’ve become too heart-wide-open."

Pepper Kuhnly, 21, hospital employee: "I’m a volunteer firefighter, and it’s made me ready to go if they need my help. I want to be there for these people and step in and protect the nation."

Stanwood

Beth Neimi, 54: It’s not going to change the way I live, because that is merely allowing the terrorists to achieve their goal. It’s changed the way I feel. I don’t feel our country will ever again have the freedom of movement we once had. … When I was little, we played outside till dark and then mom called us in. Today, kids have to be watched in broad daylight. So I’d much rather have my travel restricted than my spirit."

Kate Finnelly, 43, florist: "Personally, I don’t want to go into any great big area, stadium or arena … with a bunch of people for a long time."

Sue Kallgren, 49, delivery driver: "I think the American people welcome extra security in the airports. If I have to go three hours early, I will."

Garrett Smith, 19, a college student at Western Washington University who lives at Warm Beach. "If we have to go to war with the terrorists, I’ll be all for going, even if I have to drop out of school. I don’t want the next generation to have to live through something like this or live in fear of anybody."