By Tom Burke / Herald Columnist
In 1957 Theodor Geisel, Dr. Seuss to most of us, wrote “The Cat in the Hat,” about a cat and a little girl, Sally; her brother (the narrator); a talking fish; a mom (the girl and boy’s mom, not the fish’s); and two other characters: Thing One and Thing Two.
And on Thursday, June 27, Joseph R. Biden “debated” Donald J. Trump.
Now while most people are more-than-familiar with the Cat’s story (16 million books sold, 600 million Dr. Seuss readers), most voters did not watch the debate. In fact, only a third of 151 million voters in the last presidential election, watched. For comparison’s sake, the 1980 debate (Carter vs. Reagan), saw 80 million out of 85 million voters watching.
So what does “The Cat in the Hat” have to do with the debate?
Thing One and Thing Two.
Because as in the book two things were loosed on us last Thursday. Here’s Dr. Seuss’s Cat describing them,
“Have no fear, little fish,
Said the Cat in the Hat
These Things are good Things,
And he gave them a pat.
They are tame – Oh, so tame!
They have come here to play.
They will give you some fun
On this wet, wet, wet day.”
But the Cat is… “gaslighting.” (Lying, actually.)
Because Thing One and Thing Two were mayhem personified as they whipped around the house, just like the debate’s Thing One (Trump’s incessant lying) and Thing Two (Biden’s terrible performance) have caused considerable mayhem in the political world following the face-off.
It’s almost a week since,
“… those things ran about
With big bumps, jumps and kicks
And with hops and big thumps
And all kinds of bad tricks.”
But, unlike the Cat’s magic bad-tricks-clean-up machine, the political world can’t be put back as it was, as the reverberations of Thing One and Thing Two linger.
Now Thing Two caused a near-panic among some who have no idea that “debates” have no earthy relation to the actual job of a president; or that they are prompted by TV folks to boost ratings (and advertising revenue) and have elevated performative “showmanship,” over accomplishments and policy.
Hence we saw Biden, in a format he’s never been very good at, try to discuss policy and actually answer the moderators’ questions, while enduring much of 90 minutes of a human lie machine who answered none of the questions he was asked.
Now Biden’s people have excused his Thing Two-level flop on over-preparation, the debate format (no fact-checking), his aides, a cold, a sore throat, and just a “bad night.”
But it’s Biden himself (at a North Carolina rally the next day) who’s been most upfront about what happened, “I don’t walk as easy as I used to. I don’t speak as smoothly as I used to. I don’t debate as well as I used to.”
And he brought the hammer down on Trump’s Thing One concluding, “But I know what I do know: I know how to tell the truth.” And as president, telling the truth is qualification No. 1. (Just ask the millions who lost loved ones because Trump lied about covid.)
Now as a Philadelphia Inquirer editorial said, “… lost in the hand wringing was Donald Trump’s usual bombastic litany of lies, hyperbole, bigotry, ignorance and fear mongering:”
• Repeatedly saying we are a “failing” country.
• Calling the United States a “third-world nation.”
• Saying, “we’re living in hell” and “very close to World War III.”
• Claiming that, “People are dying all over the place and we’re literally an uncivilized country now.”
These are lies.
These are some of the more than 600 lies he told in the 40 minutes he spoke as he dodged the moderators’ questions, took no responsibility for his actions, and blamed others, mainly Biden, for everything that is wrong in the world.
Again, quoting the Inquirer, “Trump is an unserious carnival barker running for the most serious job in the world.”
So then, gentle reader, are we in the middle of a dire situation, as Dr. Seuss described:
“And this mess is so big
And so deep and so tall,
We can not pick it up.
There is no way at all!
Or is it as the fish opined:
So, as fast as you can,
Think of something to do!
You will have to get rid of
Thing One and Thing Two.”
Correcting Thing Two’s mayhem has begun,
• Biden’s already owned up to his poor performance;
• He’s begun to show his failure last Thursday wasn’t a disqualifier and he’s absolutely capable of “four more years;”
• Backers are coming back and calls for him to quit are being ridiculed as being impractical, as they should be; and
• Like House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries, D-N.Y.),said, Biden’s performance “certainly was a setback, But … a setback is nothing more than a setup for a comeback.”
Getting rid of Thing One will have to wait ‘til November.
The plain fact is Biden has a formidable legacy rooted in a presidency characterized by responsibility, decency and real accomplishment; while Trump’s eight years on the political stage has been marked by chaos, corruption and incivility.
That’s not to say Biden’s flop doesn’t warrant examination, conversation, or concern; but I’m siding with Jill Biden when she says, “Look, Joe, we are not going to let 90 minutes define the four years that you’ve been president.”
And I’m giving the Philly Inquirer the last word, “Biden on his worst day remains lightyears better than Trump on his best.”
Slava Ukraini.
Tom Burke’s email address is t.burke.column@gmail.com.
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