Burke: If Canada won’t join U.S., our state could look north

By Tom Burke / Herald Columnist

Is Trump’s obsession with making Canada the 51st state a rational idea?

No. Not a bit.

It’s foolish, juvenile, ignorant, and will never, ever happen/ From any perspective imaginable — starting with Canada’s membership in the (British) Commonwealth of Nations, her constitution, her own history and traditions, and that Canada beat us silly in the only war we fought against her (the War of 1812) — it makes no sense at all. Plus her people want no earthly part in becoming Americans.

So let’s just dumpster the foolish rantings and ravings and mind-mush-flushings of our most-clueless-ever president.

Kind of. Because there is the teeniest, tiniest germ of a great idea in Donald’s fever-dream delusion:

Instead of making Canada the 51st state, let’s make Washington state the 11th Canadian province.

Now there’s an idea to get behind!

And a somewhat flippant, but not entirely facetious, look at the pros and cons proves the case.

First, we’d save money.

Washington state sends more tax dollars to Washington, D.C., than it receives in federal support. A lot more. Like $22.5 billion more in taxes than it gets back in federal spending, making us among the least reliant states on federal largess. (Note: Such a move would help solve our current state budget crisis estimated to be between $6.6 billion and $13 billion.)

Next, we’d have better health care by adopting Canada’s universal health care system where there’s no cost for inpatient or outpatient care, prescription drug prices are low, and Washington state already has a world-class hospital network in place. (And the leader of our prospective new homeland isn’t trying to destroy our existing health care system with Trump and Elon Musk defunding Medicare and Medicaid; putting a vaccine-denying health care wacko in charge of Health and Human Services; and firing thousands upon thousands of vital health care and other workers at the Veterans Administration, National Institutes of Health, CDC and other institutions.

(Another note: According to a Ross University School of Medicine comparison of health care in 11 countries included in a Commonwealth Fund study of Australia, Canada, Netherlands, Germany, France, New Zealand, Norway, Sweden, Switzerland, U.K., U.S., the United States spends by far the most on health care (18.3 percent of gross domestic product) but gets, by far, the least return on investment as it finished last of the 11 nations. In fact, the U.S. was so far behind 10th-place Canada it was excluded from the survey average because it so skewed the numbers for the other countries.)

Now from an educational perspective, where Washington state public schools have been chronically underfunded, Canadian public schools are still considered excellent, ranking consistently world-class, as have Canadian universities. Plus post-secondary costs in Canada are much lower than ours and we might even emulate Quebec, and offer free, full-time post-secondary education. And Canada is not trying to eradicate its department of education, deny the role of minorities in their country’s history, or defund university research programs.

Culturally, we in Washington state have a lot more in common with Canadians, especially British Columbians, than we do with people in MAGA states like Mississippi, Alabama and Texas.

And if you doubt that, just take the measure on any significant social issue; from a woman’s right to choose the health care of her choosing; to diversity, equity,and inclusion; to the social safety net and voting rights.

An example: In Canada, new parents can access paid maternity and parental leave which provides up to 15 weeks of maternity leave and up to 40 weeks of parental leave where the US Family and Medical Leave Act only provides up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave for eligible employees.

In terms of power, population, and the economy Washington state would be Canada’s third largest province with 8 million people (trailing Ontario’s 15 million and Quebec’s 8.7 million) and our state’s $686 billion GDP would be a significant add to Canada’s $2.5 trillion GDP, an almost 30 percent addition.

This would give us a sizeable voice in Canada’s parliament.

Of course, gentle reader, we must be objective and look at the downsides of such a union.

Well, first we’d have to change some holidays: Thanksgiving Day (French: Jour de l’Action de grâce), would be held on the second Monday in October not the last Thursday in November (adieu Vendredi Noir; Black Friday); the Fourth of July would become the First of July and be called Canada Day; and we’d have to add Boxing Day, Dec. 26, to the list of national celebrations.

And we’d seriously have to choose sides; deciding whether to stick by Starbucks or convert to Tim Horton’s (which offers a better doughnut).

Clearly, while Trump’s “Canada, the 51st state” is simply more Trump verbal incontinence, his attack on our allies and other nations via trade wars and tariffs isn’t.

It’s serious stuff and the consequences of these attacks, both on our trading partners and U.S. consumers (the people who actually pay for his tariffs) is profound.

He’s already greatly roiled the stock market and the uncertainty of his off-again, on-again implementation of this disaster has disrupted logistics chains; cost people jobs; and made life a misery for U.S. farmers, factory workers, and the auto industry.

“Oh, Canada” is a nice tune I could learn to sing and I’d proudly fly the Maple Leaf flag.

And if Trump and Musk and his DOGEsters keep it up, well, maybe carrying some loonies in my pocket would be better than having one in the White House.

Slava Ukraini.

Tom Burke’s email address is t.burke.column@gmail.com.