Burke: Trump turned his supporters into a MAGA cash machine

By Tom Burke / Herald Columnist

Back in 1967 my roommate at Kings Point, the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy, was from Bay Bay Minette, Ala. I always enjoyed his approach to the local young women we’d meet. He’d dive headfirst into an exaggerated, but believable, deep-south drawl and use every bit of romantic Alabama charm to woo those nice New York girls. They seemed to enjoy it as much as he did.

But his redneck put-downs — used when meeting someone with, say, less intellectual capability than we imagined we had — was to, in his most rural, razorback accent whisper to me, “That boy is Dee. You. Emm. DUM!” I’d chuckle and we’d move on.

On reflection, I should find and thank him for that DUM line, as I’ve used it many times since the late ‘60s.

Now I’m considering using it again, because I’m not sure the MAGA, Christian-nationalist Republicans who back Trump are fascists, cultists, insurrectionists, and liars; or if those pernicious, white-power-racist, militia-terrorists are either an existential threat to democracy or just plain Dee. You. Emm. DUM!

Consider:

Trump’s always bragging about his wealth, claiming, in an April 2023 deposition, that he had $400 million in cash with oh-so-much-more in real estate and “brand” value. And in 2016 proclaimed, “I’m self-funding my own campaign. It’s my money.”

Plus, he’s trumpeted he’s a billionaire at least 55 zillion times and says strong men — with tears in their eyes — come up to him and say, “Mr. Trump, you are soooo rich.”

So, one might ask, why ask for donations when proclaiming you’re self-funding a campaign? (That’s easy: he begs for cash because he’s a greedy, grifting con-man liar.)

The bigger mystery is, however: Why do people give him money, when he says he’s too rich to need it?

For the big-dollar, deep-pocket donors; that’s easy. They want to buy him. They want something: tax cuts, relaxed environmental regulation, government contracts, pardons; and have gotten them in the past, so why not keep giving, and getting.

But the small-donors, them I don’t understand.

Well, I do, actually; they’ve been conned. (If I were a flim-flam man, first thing I’d do is buy a list of Trump donors; they gotta be the easiest marks in the world. I could make a fortune selling them crypto, claiming to be grandkids in jail needing bail money, using tech support scams, phony IRS calls, or phishing them out of their Social Security numbers.)

But lately, if Trump’s history of proven cheating, lying, scamming, deception, fraud, sexual assault, defamation, NATO-bashing, and tax evasion isn’t enough to keep people from sending him money, the latest campaign financing data sure ought to.

Did you realize:

The Associated Press’s analysis of Federal Election Commission data found that Trump’s Save America PAC and other fundraising scams have spent $76.7 million on Trump’s legal fees over the past two years. Which means MAGA Republicans have dipped deeply into their own pockets to pay for personal lawyers for a self-proclaimed billionaire.

There’s more.

He paid more than $900,000 to an New York University accounting professor, Eli Bartov, who appeared as an expert witness at Trump’s New York civil fraud trial and of whom Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Arthur Engoron, who heard the case, wrote that the only thing Bartov’s testimony proves “is that for a million or so dollars, some experts will say whatever you want them to say.”

And from that same pool of Save America donor money, $2.3 million more was paid to two law firms representing daughter Ivanka Trump and a further $5.3 million was funneled to another law firm representing his children — Ivanka, Eric, and Don Jr. — all very, very wealthy in their own right.

And if that isn’t enough to give a MAGA supporter pause:

How do real union members feel about the Trump campaign paying Drake Enterprises, a non-union auto parts shop in Clinton Township, $20,000 of their money to stage a rally with fake union members to hold up fake “Union Members for Trump” signs behind him to make it look like he was holding a rally with real union auto workers on strike.

It gets worse:

Money people thought was going to defend democracy or take back a “stollen” election (the election wasn’t stolen) was actually spent on a monthly retainer — to the tune of more than $100,000 a year — to Herve Pierre Braillard, who’s Melania Trump’s hair stylist. (Disguised in FEC reports as a “strategy consultant”). (If I were giving the kids haircuts at home to save money, or going to the cut-price barber-school barbers, I’d sure be unhappy.)

Trump’s paying E. Jean Carroll $5 million for sexual assault and defamation. Plus another $83.3 million for the same crime because he wouldn’t stop defaming her. And he could be on the hook for more than $370 million for defrauding New York state and his bankers. And lots, lots more legal bills are coming.

Here’s the kicker:

He refuses to rule out using money donated to his presidential campaign to pay those fines and fees.

His crimes, your MAGA money. What a sweet deal for him.

So maybe the MAGA faithful aren’t devious, fascist or anti-democractic.

Maybe they’re just Dee. You. Emm. DUM! As fireplugs. Or a doornail, box-a-rocks, bag of hammers, or a brick.

Or maybe they are DUM. And devious, fascist, and anti-democractic.

And they vote.

Slava Ukraini.

Tom Burke’s email address is t.burke.column@gmail.com.