Witnessed this week: A fellow clipping his fingernails in the small waiting area of a pharmacy. Sheesh. Come on people, we’re living in a society! Is it not common knowledge and common courtesy that such personal grooming is rightly reserved for the privacy of your vehicle, behind the wheel, as you drive somewhere? Let’s give the headlines a public pedicure.
“Chinese builder puts up 57-story skyscraper in 19 days”: Well, that’s certainly efficient… Sounds like Snohomish County has found the perfect contractor to get the new courthouse built ahead of schedule, even though it is already way behind schedule. It may, however, mean the old courthouse is still safer in the long run, but hey, you can’t argue with “19 days.”
“Malala Yousafzai attack: Pakistan jails ten men for role in assassination attempt”: Prompting the question: Exactly how many cowards does it take to try and kill a brave (then) 15-year-old girl?
“More sex means more money”: Actually, “more money means more sex” is the more common interpretation of that phenomenon. (Unless you are a prostitute or escort.)
“School kids served six-year-old lunchmeat”: It seems Tennessee students were served frozen pork roast from 2009. Pork, the other petrified, frozen white meat. It’s what for lunch. “New bird species: Warbler found in China”: The government immediately set about monitoring the birds’ warblings, you know, just in case.
“Non-stop Zumba? That’s the theme on this cruise”: Really? Non-stop? How not relaxing at all. Let’s hope they’re not downwind of all that fine food, served day and night.
“Number of $100 million homes surges in U.S.” and “Tiny house: Living large in small spaces makes sense, says Hudsonville builder”: (And by tiny, they mean 200 square feet.) And by “surging” they mean 10 houses have sold for $100 million, up from three in 2014. Good grief, such extremes. Mitigating factor: Never before has your modest, cozy home, condo or apartment ever felt exactly “just right” in that Goldilocks way until now.
“FDA approves injection for melting away double-chin fat”: The FDA said the most common side effects of the drug included swelling, bruising, pain, numbness, redness and hardness in the treatment area, while more serious side effects included trouble swallowing and nerve injury that can cause an uneven smile or muscle weakness, according to the article. Well, it’s totally worth the risk then…
It’s the FDA’s regular approval of pharmaceuticals with dangerous side effects that deflates the agency’s argument against prescribing medical cannabis (for veterans with PSTD, for example, or children with epilepsy.) They it’s dangerous because its side effects aren’t known, effects of long-term usage aren’t known, etc.
While the government has done a good job in preventing studies of cannabis, it is already well known that its use will never cause swelling, bruising, pain, numbness or hardness. It won’t cause trouble swallowing or nerve injuries or muscle weakness.
So the extremely less harmful, natural substance is subject to a much higher standard than its pharma cousins, (often for questionable “medical” problems) like the one to reduce the size of your double chin. Makes sense.
Lead with your double chin this week.
Carol MacPherson: 425-339-3472; cmacpherson@heraldnet.com
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